At the end of the reading, all eyes were directed to the well-dressed and gentlemanly-looking Adolphus. He appeared to excite universal sympathy. "What have you to say, young man?" "Why, your worship, the charge is true; but"-- "Oh! never mind your buts. Will you ever appear in the same situation again?" "Upon my soul I won't; but"-- "There, then, that will do; I like your sincerity, but don't swear. Pay one shilling, and you are discharged." "Will your worship allow me"-- "I have no time, sir. Next case." "But I must explain." "Next case. Hold your jaw!--this way!"--and the same individual who had jerked Mr. Adolphus Casay into the dock, rejerked him into the middle of the court. The shilling was paid, and, amid the laughter of the idlers at his anti-teetotal habits, he made the best of his way from the scene of his humiliation. As he rushed round the corner of the street, a peal of laughter struck upon his ears, and there, in full feather, as sober as ever, stood Mr. Brown Bunkem, enjoying the joke beyond all measure. Indignation took possession of Mr. Adolphus Casay's bosom; he demanded to know the cause of this strange conduct, stating that his character was for ever compromised. "Not at all," coolly rejoined the unmoved Bunkem; "we are all subject to accidents. You certainly were in a scrape, but I think none the worse of you; and, if it's any satisfaction, you may say it was me." "Say it was you! Why it was." "Capital, upon my life! do you hear him, Smith, how well he takes a cue? but stick to it, old fellow, I don't think you'll be believed; but--_say it was me._" Mr. Brown Bunkem was perfectly right. Mr. Adolphus Casay was not believed; for some time he told the story as it really was, but to no purpose. The indefatigable Brown was always appealed to by mutual friends, his answer invariably was-- "Why, _Casay's_ a steady fellow, _I_ am not; it _might_ injure him. _I_ defy report; therefore I gave him leave to--_say it was me!_" And that was all the thanks Mr. Adolphus Casay ever got for bailing friend. FUSBOS * * * * * THE POLITICAL EUCLID. WHEREIN ARE CONSIDERED THE RELATIONS OF PLACE; OR THE BEST MODE OF GETTING A PLACE FOR YOUR RELATIONS: Being a complete Guide to the Art of LEGISLATIVE MENSURATION, OR, How to estimate the value of a Vote upon WHIG AND TORY MEASURES. THE WHOLE ADAPTED TO THE USE OF HONOURABLE MEMBERS. BY LORD PALMERSTON, _Late Professor of Toryism, but now Lecturer on Whiggery to the College of St. Stephen's._ * * * * * BOOK I.--DEFINITIONS. A point in politics is that which always has _place_ (in view,) but no particular party. A line in politics is interest without principle. The extremities of a line are loaves and fishes. A right line is that which lies evenly between the Ministerial and Opposition benches. A superficies is that which professes to have principle, but has no consistency.