On the 31st of the following month, a string of carriages surrounded St. George's Church, Hanover-square, and precisely at a quarter to twelve, A.M., Agamemnon Collumpsion Applebite placed a plain gold ring on the finger of Miss Juliana Theresa Waddledot, being a necessary preliminary to the introduction of our hero, the "Heir of Applebite." * * * * * EPIGRAM. "I wonder if Brougham thinks as much as he talks," Said a punster perusing a trial: "I vow, since his lordship was made Baron Vaux, He's been _Vaux et praeterea nihil!_" * * * * * THE TWO FATAL CHIROPEDISTS. Our great ancestor, Joe Miller, has recorded, in his "Booke of Jestes," an epitaph written upon an amateur corn-cutter, named Roger Horton, who, "Trying one day his corn to mow off, The razor slipp'd, and cut his toe off." The painful similarity of his fate with that of another corn experimentalist, has given rise to the following:-- EPITAPH ON LORD JOHN RUSSELL, WHO EXPIRED POLITICALLY, AFTER A LINGERING ILLNESS, ON MONDAY EVENING, AUGUST 30, 1841. In Minto quies. Beneath this stone lies Johnny Russell, Who for his place had many a tussel. Trying one day _the corn_ to cut down, The motion fail'd, and he was _put_ down. The benches which he nearly grew to, The Opposition quickly flew to; The fact it was so mortifying, That little Johnny took to dying. * * * * * SHALL GREAT OLYMPUS TO A MOLEHILL STOOP? Some difficulty has arisen as to the production of Knowles's new play at the Haymarket Theatre. Mr. Charles Kean and Miss Helen Faucit having objected to hear the play read, "_because their respective parts had not been previously submitted to them._"--_Sunday Times_.--[We are of opinion that they were decidedly right. One might as well expect a child to spell without learning the alphabet, as either of the above persons to understand Knowles, unless enlightened by a long course of previous instruction.] * * * * * THE LETTER OF INTRODUCTION. [From a MS. drama called the "COURT OF VICTORIA." _Scene in Windsor Castle._ [_Her Majesty discovered sitting thoughtfully at an escrutoire._-- _Enter the_ LORD CHAMBERLAIN.] LORD CHAMBERLAIN.--May it please your Majesty, a letter from the Duke of Wellington. THE QUEEN (_opens the letter_.)--Oh! a person for the vacant place of Premier--show the bearer in, my lord. [_Exit_ LORD CHAMBERLAIN. THE QUEEN (_muses_).--Sir Robert Peel--I have heard that name before, as connected with my family. If I remember rightly, he held the situation of adviser to the crown in the reign of Uncle William, and was discharged for exacting a large discount on all the state receipts; yet Wellington is very much interested in his favour. _Enter the_ LORD CHAMBERLAIN, _who ushers in_ SIR ROBERT, _and then retires. As he is going_--]