SIR ROBERT.--Am I regularly called in? THE QUEEN.--You evade a direct answer, I see. Granting such to be _your belief_, your friends and landowners would suffer no injury, for their incomes would procure them as many luxuries. SIR ROBERT.--Not if they were to live abroad, or patronise foreign manufactures: and _should_ wages be higher, what would they say to me after all the money they have expended in bri--I mean at the Carlton Club, if I allow the value of their "dirty acres" to be reduced. THE QUEEN.--Pray, what do you call such views? SIR ROBERT.--Patriotism. THE QUEEN.--Charity would be a better term, as that is said to begin at home. How long were you in your last place? SIR ROBERT.--Not half so long as I wished--for the sake of the country. THE QUEEN.--Why did you leave? SIR ROBERT.--Somebody said I was saucy--and somebody else said I was not honest--and somebody else said I had better go. THE QUEEN.--Who was the latter somebody? SIR ROBERT.--My master. THE QUEEN.--Your exposure of my late premier's faults, and your present application for his situation, result from disinterestedness, of course? SIR ROBERT.--Of course, madam. THE QUEEN.--Then salary is not so much an object as a comfortable situation. SIR ROBERT.--I beg pardon; but I've been out of place ten years, and have a small family to support. _Wages_ is, therefore, some sort of a consideration. THE QUEEN.--I don't quite like you. SIR ROBERT (_glancing knowingly at the Queen_).--I don't think there is any one that _you can_ have better. THE QUEEN.--I'm afraid not. SIR ROBERT.--Then, am I regularly called in? THE QUEEN.--Yes, you can take your boxes to Downing-street. [_Exeunt ambo_. * * * * * PARLIAMENTARY INTENTIONS. Mr. Muntz, we understand, intends calling the attention of Parliament, at the earliest possible period, to the state of the crops. Lord Palmerston intends proposing, that a looking-glass for the use of members should be placed in the ante-room of the House, and that it shall be called the New Mirror of Parliament. Mr. T. Duncombe intends moving that the plans of Sir Robert Peel be immediately submitted to the photographic process, in order that some light may be thrown upon them as soon as possible. The Earl of Coventry intends suggesting, that every member of both Houses be immediately supplied with a copy of the work called "Ten Minutes' Advice on Corns," in order to prepare Parliament for a full description of the Corn Laws. * * * * * EXTRA FASHIONABLE NEWS. Colonel Sibthorp has expressed his intention of becoming the blue-faced monkey at the Zoological Gardens with his _countenance_, on next Wednesday. Lord Melbourne has received visits of condolence on his retirement from office, from Aldgate pump--Canning's statue in Palace-yard--the Three Kings of Brentford--and the Belle Sauvage, Ludgate-hill.