Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, April 18, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, April 18, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Mrs. Linden_ (_laying down book, as a light tread is heard outside_).
Here he is at last! (_KROGSTAD comes in, and stands in the doorway._)
Mr. KROGSTAD, I have given you a secret _rendezvous_ in this room,
because it belongs to my employer, Mr. HELMER, who has lately
discharged you. The etiquette of Norway permits these slight freedoms
on the part of a female Cashier.
_Krogs._ It does. Are we alone? (_NORA is heard overhead dancing the
Tarantella._) Yes, I hear Mrs. HELMER's fairy footfall above. She
dances the Tarantella now--by-and-by she will dance to another tune!
(_Changing his tone._) I don't exactly know why you should wish to
have this interview--after jilting me as you did, long ago, though?
_Mrs. L._ Don't you? _I_ do. I am a widow--a Norwegian widow. And
it has occurred to me that there may be a nobler side to your nature
somewhere--though you have not precisely the best of reputations.
[Illustration: "Oh, you prillil squillikins!"]
_Krogs._ Right. I am a forger, and a money-lender; I am on the staff
of the Norwegian _Punch_--a most scurrilous paper. More, I have been
blackmailing Mrs. HELMER by trading on her fears like a low cowardly
cur. But, in spite of all that--(_clasping his hands_)--there are the
makings of a fine man about me _yet_, CHRISTINA!
_Mrs. L._ I believe you--at least, I'll chance it. I want some one to
care for, and I'll marry you.
_Krogs._ (_suspiciously_). On condition, I suppose, that I suppress
the letter denouncing Mrs. HELMER?
_Mrs. L._ How can you think so? I am her dearest friend: but I can
still see her faults, and it is my firm opinion that a sharp lesson
will do her all the good in the world. She is _much_ too comfortable.
So leave the letter in the box, and come home with me.
_Krogs._ I am wildly happy! Engaged to the female Cashier of the
Manager who has discharged me, our future is bright and secure!
[_He goes out; and Mrs. LINDEN sets the furniture straight;
presently a noise is heard outside, and HELMER enters,
dragging_ NORA in. She is in fancy dress, and he in an open
black domino._
_Nora_. I shan't! It's too early to come away from such a nice party.
I _won't_ go to bed! [_She whimpers._
_Helmer_ (_tenderly_). There'sh a naughty lil' larkie for you, Mrs.
LINEN! Poshtively had to drag her 'way! She'sh a capricious lil'
girl--from Capri. 'Scuse me!--'fraid I've been and made a pun. Shan'
'cur again! Shplendid champagne the Consul gave us--'counts for it!
(_Sits down, smiling._) Do you _knit_, Mrs. COTTON?... You shouldn't.
Never knit. 'Broider. (_Nodding to her, solemnly._) 'Member that.
Alwaysh _'broider_. More--(_hiccoughing_)--Oriental! Gobblesh
you!--goo'ni!
_Mrs. Linden_. I only came in to--to see NORA's costume. Now I've seen
it, I'll go. [_Goes out._
_Helmer_. Awful bore that woman--hate boresh! (_Looks at NORA, then
comes nearer._) Oh, you prillil squillikins, I _do_ love you so!
Shomehow, I feel sho lively thishevenin'!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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