Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 14, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 14, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
The Tolerated Husband may have been at one time an officer in a good
regiment. Having married, he finds that his pay, combined with a
moderate private income, and a generous allowance of indebtedness, due
to the gratification of expensive tastes, is insufficient to maintain
him in that position of comfort to which he conceives himself to be
entitled. He therefore abandons the career of arms, and becomes one of
those who attempt spasmodically to redeem commercial professions from
the taint of mere commercialism by becoming commercial themselves.
It is certain that the gilded society which turns up a moderately
aristocratic nose at trade and tradesmen, looks with complete
indulgence upon an ex-officer who dabbles in wine, or associates
himself with a new scheme for the easy manufacture of working-men's
boots. An agency to a Fire and Life Assurance Society is, of course,
above reproach, and the Stock Exchange, an institution which, in the
imagination of reckless fools, provides as large a cover as charity,
is positively enviable--a reputation which it owes to the fancied ease
with which half-a-crown is converted into one hundred thousand pounds
by the mere stroke of an office pen.
The Tolerated Husband tries all these methods, one after another, with
a painful monotony of failure in each. Yet, somehow or other, he still
keeps up appearances, and manages to live in a certain style not far
removed from luxury. He entertains his friends at elaborate dinners,
both at home and at expensive restaurants; he is a frequent visitor at
theatres, where he often pays for the stalls of many others as well as
for his own. He takes a small house in the country, and fills it with
guests, to whom he offers admirable wines, and excellent cigars. His
wife is always beautifully dressed, and glitters with an array of
jewels which make her the envy of many a steady leader of fashion.
The world begins to ask, vaguely at first, but with a constantly
increasing persistence, how the thing is done. Respectability and
malice combine to whisper a truthful answer. Starting from the axiom
that the precarious income which is produced by a want of success in
many branches of business cannot support luxury or purchase diamonds,
they arrive, _per saltum_, at the conclusion that there must be some
third party to provide the wife and the husband with means for their
existence. His name is soon fixed upon, and his motives readily
inferred. It can be none other than the husband's rich bachelor
friend, the same who accompanies the pair on all their expeditions,
who is a constant guest at their house, and is known to be both lavish
and determined in the prosecution of any object on which he has set
his heart. His heart, in this instance, is set upon his friend's wife,
and the obstacles in his way do not seem to be very formidable. The
case, indeed, is soon too manifest for any one but a born idiot to
feign ignorance of it. The husband is not a born idiot--he either sees
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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