Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 14, 1891 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 14, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 14, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
it plainly, or (it may be, after a struggle) he looks another way,
and resigns himself to the inevitable. For inevitable it is, if he is
to continue in that life of indolence and extravagant comfort which
habit has made a necessity for him. So he submits to the constant
companionship of a third party, and, in order to be truly tolerated
in his own household, becomes tolerant in a manner that is almost
sublime. He allows his friend to help him with large subventions of
money; he lets him cover his wife with costly jewels. He is content
to be supplanted without fuss, provided the supplanter never decreases
the stream of his benevolence; and the supplanter, having more wealth
than he knows what to do with, is quite content to secure his object
on such extremely easy terms. And thus the Tolerated Husband is
created.
It is curious to notice how cheerfully, to all outward appearance, he
accepts what other men would consider a disaster. Before the world
he carries his head high with an assumption of genial frankness and
easy good temper. "Come and dine with us to-morrow, my boy," he will
say to an old acquaintance, "there'll only be yourself and a couple
of others besides ourselves. We'll go to the play afterwards." And
the acquaintance will most certainly discover, if he accepts the
invitation, that the "ourselves" included not only husband and wife,
but friend as well. He will also notice that the last is even more at
home in the house, and speaks in a tone of greater authority than the
apparent host. Everything is referred to him for decision, and the
master of the house treats him with a deferential humility which goes
far to contradict the cynical observation that there is no gratitude
on earth. The Tolerated Husband, indeed, never tires of dispensing
hospitality at the cost of his friend, and though the whole world
knows the case, there will never be a lack of guests to accept what
is offered.
At last, however, in spite of his toleration, he becomes an
encumbrance in his own house, and, like most encumbrances, he has to
be paid off, the friend providing the requisite annual income. One
after another he puts off the last remaining rags of his pretended
self-respect. He haunts his Clubs less and less frequently, and seems
to wither under the open dislike of those who are repelled by the
mean and sordid details of his despicable story. And thus he drags on
his life, a degraded and comparatively impoverished outcast, untidy,
haggard and shunned, having forfeited by the restriction of his
spending powers even the good-natured contempt of those who were
not too proud to be at one time mistaken for his friends.
* * * * *
LABOURS FOR LENT.
_Emperor of Germany_.--To conciliate the great men who have had to
prefix "Ex" to their official titles since he ascended the Throne.
_Emperor of Russia_.--To find a resting-place safe from the Nihilists.
_King of Italy_.--To do without CRISPI, and the Triple Alliance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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