_The Aunt_ (_still quoting_). "In the famous work," BOBBY, "by which we know MASÛDI, he mentions the Persian Hezar Afsane-um-um-um,--nor have commentators failed to notice that the occasion of the book written for the Princess HOMAI resembles the story told in the Hebrew Bible about ESTHER, her mother or grandmother, by some Persian Jew two or three centuries B.C." Well, I never knew _that_ before!... This is "_Sindbad and the Old Man of the Sea_"--let's see what they say about _him_. (_Reads._) "Both the story of _Sindbad_ and the old Basque legend of Tartaro are undoubtedly borrowed from the _Odyssey_ of HOMER, whose _Iliad_ and _Odyssey_ were translated into Syriac in the reign of HARUN-UR-RASHID." Dear, dear, how interesting, now! and, BOBBY, what _do_ you think someone says about "_Jack and the Beanstalk_"? He says--"this tale is an allegory of the Teutonic Al-fader, the red hen representing the all-producing sun: the moneybags, the fertilising rain; and the harp, the winds." Well, I'm sure it seems likely enough, doesn't it? [_BOBBY suppresses a yawn; PERCY's feelings are outraged by receiving a tin trumpet from the Lucky Tub; general move to the scene of the Hampstead Tragedy._ _BEFORE THE HAMPSTEAD TABLEAUX._ _Spectators_. Dear, dear, there's the _dresser_, you see, and the window, broken and all; it's wonderful how they can _do_ it! And there's poor Mrs. 'OGG--it's real butter and a real loaf she's cutting, and the poor baby, too!... Here's the actual casts taken after they were murdered. Oh, and there's Mrs. PEARCEY wheeling the perambulator--it's the _very_ perambulator! No, not the very one--they've got _that_ at the other place, and the piece of toffee the baby sucked. Have they really! Oh, we _must_ try and go there, too, before the children's holidays are over. And this is all? Well, well, everything very nice, I _will_ say. But a pity they couldn't get the _real_ perambulator! * * * * * BURNS VERSUS BURNS. A SONG OF THE GREAT SCOTCH STRIKE. TUNE--"_PUSH ABOUT THE JORUM!_" [Illustration] "Oh, let us not like snarling tykes, In wrangling be divided; Till slap comes in an uncoo loon And with a rung decide it. Be Britain still to Britain true, Among oursels united; For never but by British hands Maun British wrongs be righted!" ROBERT BURNS's "_Dumfries Volunteers_." _Shade of_ BURNS, _loquitur_:-- O, rantin' roarin' JOHNNY BURNS, My namesake--in a fashion, You do my Scots the warst o' turns Sae stirrin' up their passion. Whence come ye, JOHNNY? Frae the Docks? Or frae the County Council? Sure Scots can do their ain hard knocks; We take your brag and bounce ill! Fal de ral, &c.