Does Cockneydom invasion threat? Then let the louns beware, Sir! Scotland, they'll find, is Scotland yet, And for hersel' can fare, Sir. The Thames shall run to join the Tweed, Criffel adorn Thames valley, 'Ere wanton wrath and vulgar greed On Scottish ground shall rally. Fal de ral, &c. A man's a man for a' that, JOHN, And ane's as good as tither; But that ship's crew is fated, JOHN, That mutinies in bad weather. Nae flouts to "honest industry" Shall fa' frae the Exciseman; But ane who blaws up strife like this, Wisdom deems not a wise man. Fal de ral, &c. Scot business may be out o' tune, True harmony may fail in't, But deil a cockney tinkler loon We need to rant and rail in't. Our fathers on occasion fought, And so can we, if needed; But windy words with frenzy fraught Sound Scots should pass unheeded. Fal de ral, &c. Let toilers not, like snarling tykes, In wrangling be divided, Till foreign Trade, which marks our Strikes, Steps in, and we're derided. Be Scotland still to Scotland true, Amang oursels united; 'Tis not by firebrands, JOHN, like you Our wrangs shall best be righted. Fal de ral, &c. The knave who'd crush the toilers doun, And him, his true-born brither, Who'd set the mob aboon the Crown, Should be kicked out together. Go, JOHN! Learn temperance, banish spleen! Scots cherish throne and steeple, But while we sing "_God save the Queen_," _We_ won't forget the People. Fal de ral, &c. * * * * * A LENGTHY NOVEL.--_A Thousand Lines of Her Own_, in 3000 vols., by the Authoress of _A Line of Her Own_, in 3 vols. N.B.--What a long line this must be to occupy three vols.! A work of and for a lifetime. * * * * * [Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID. _Small Stranger_ (_to Master of the house_). "OW MY! THE GENTLEMAN AS OPENS THE DOOR _WILL_ GIVE IT YER, IF YER RING _THAT_ BELL!"] * * * * * OPERATIC GOSSIP.