uneventful? That will do admirably--infinitely obliged to you, I am sure. It would be useless to ask you if you would care to have a copy of the work, when issued, forwarded to you--we can do it for you at the very nominal sum of two guineas, if paid in advance--a gratifying possession for your children after you have gone, Mr. LANE! I _may_ put you down? Thank you. For _two_ copies?" (_On second thoughts, you do order two copies; you can send one out to your married Sister in Australia_--_it will amuse her._) "One, two, three, four guineas--_quite_ correct, Mr. LANE, and you shall have an early opportunity of revising a proof, and we will send down a competent artist, in a day or two, to take the photographs. Quite an agreeable change in the weather, is it not? _Good_ day!" [Illustration: "You may have to wait."] He is gone, leaving you to wait for the proof, and the photographer, and the appearance of that great work. _Notable Nonentities of Norwood_,--and it is not at all unlikely that you may have to wait a considerable time. * * * * * IAGO ON THE GREAT SERMON QUESTION. Good name in Mayor or Parson, dear my public, Is the immediate jewel of their souls. Who steals my _sermon_, steals trash; 'tis something, nothing; 'Twas mine, 'tis his, and has been mouthed by dozens; But he who "splits" on me as plagiarist, Robs me of that which is no good to him, And leaves me poor--in credit. * * * * * "WHEREVER WE WANDER," &c.--A new book of advice for intending Travellers has recently been published, entitled, "_Where to Stay_." It is both ornamental and useful; but so much depends on ways and means, that, after careful consideration, _Mr. Punch_, when asked "_Where to Stay_," considers the safest answer will always be, "_At home_." * * * * * [Illustration: "CHUCKED!" ["The Bookmakers are in consternation, the Chamber having yesterday (Feb. 28), by 330 Votes to 144, rejected a Bill legalising the _pari mutuel_, and the Government having pledged itself to enforce the law against gambling."--_Times Paris Correspondent_.] _The Bookie_. "ALL RIGHT, MOSSOO, I'M OFF TO ENGLAND! THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE 'OME!"] (_EXTRACT OF LETTER FROM_ DICKY DIDDLUM, _BOOKMAKER, PARIS, TO_ BOUNDING BOB, _DITTO, NEWMARKET._) "... Our game here appears to be as decidedly _hup_ as the top of the Awful Tower! Regular mugs, these Mossoos, after all. Thought we _had_ taught 'em a bit about _Ler Sport_ by this time: but, bless yer, BOB, once a Pollyvoo, always a Pollyvoo! No Frenchy really hunderstands a 'Oss, or knows 'ow to make a Book!