Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 16, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 16, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Wednesday, April 30th, "George Hotel," Billsbury_.--Spent yesterday
and the day before in chambers at the Temple. No work as usual. Think
I shall give it all up, and take entirely to politics. Yesterday
afternoon a Mr. RICHARDSON GROGRAM called on me by appointment. He had
written me a long letter stating that he had important information to
communicate to me with reference to my candidature at Billsbury, and
desired a short interview in order to lay it before me, Said he was
"a Billsbury man born and bred, and naturally interested in everything
that concerned the welfare of the old place, though for family
reasons he had found it best to make the home of his riper manhood in
the Metropolis." I smelt a rat, but thought it best to give him an
interview. He is a tall man, with a dark beard, straight dark hair, a
sallow face and shifty eyes, and was dressed rather like a dissenting
clergyman. He was immensely genial in his manner, said he had read
every word of my eloquent speeches, and thoroughly agreed with all
I had said, though he himself would never have been able to say it
half as well. He then asked me if I had heard of his "History of the
Borough of Billsbury" in four volumes. I asked him who had published
it and when, but he said he had been made the victim of intrigues, and
had not yet secured a publisher, though there was any amount of money
to be made out of the book. Would I like to read it in MS., and give
him my candid opinion of it? Excused myself on the ground of great
pressure of work. He talked like this for about twenty minutes, and at
last came to what he called the chief purport of his visit. He said
he had in the course of his investigations, been fortunate enough to
acquire important and exclusive knowledge with regard to the early
life of Sir THOMAS CHUBSON and his chief supporters in Billsbury.
"If it is published," he continued, "it will absolutely blast the
prospects of Radicalism in Billsbury. I am not a grasping man, but I
must consider my family. Still, Sir, such is my respect and liking
for you, that I am willing to place a sealed packet containing all
these stories in your hands on payment of £150 down." I told him that
wasn't my way either of fighting a constituency or of doing business,
whereupon he became more voluble than ever, and I had no end of a job
to get rid of the oily beast. JERRAM tells me to-day that he was once
a solicitor's clerk in Billsbury, and had to leave on account of
some missing money. Since then he appears to have lived a shady life,
varied by attempts at blackmail. Faugh!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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