Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 16, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 16, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Came down to Billsbury to-day, to attend the inaugural dinner of the
season of the Billsbury Cricket Club. I am a Vice-President, and so
is CHUBSON. The dinner was held in the large room of the "Blue Posts
Hotel." General BANNATYNE, an old Indian, who is the President of the
Club, was in the chair, having CHUBSON on his right, and me on his
left. Old CHUBSON, to whom I was introduced, seems not half a bad old
fellow, but he can't speak a bit. The dinner was awful, everything
as tough as leather, and the Cabinet Pudding more beastly than any
Cabinet Pudding I ever tasted--which is saying a good deal. CHUBSON
proposed, "Prosperity to the Billsbury C.C." "Politics," he said,
"are like Cricket. We spend our time in bowling overs." At this point
a young Conservative, who had drunk too much, shouted, "Ah, and you
mostly change sides, too"--an allusion to the fact that CHUBSON is
believed to have started in politics as a Tory. Somebody removed
the interrupter, and CHUBSON finished his speech all right, but
the incident must have annoyed him. I proposed "The Town and Trade
of Billsbury," and started by saying what pleasure it gave anybody
occupied in politics to take a part in a non-political celebration
like this. "My friend, Sir THOMAS CHUBSON," I said, "and I have not
met before, and I congratulate myself, therefore, on having been
introduced to him to-day. We shall do our level best to bowl one
another out, but I know we shall play the game according to the rules,
and in that spirit of fair-play for which Englishmen in general, and
Billsbury cricketers in particular, are celebrated."
This was rather mixed, but it went very well. I think I took the shine
out of CHUBSON. Later on there was a shocking row between two of the
town-councillors, who got to loggerheads over the question of the
Billsbury Waterworks. It was smoothed over, however, after everybody
had shouted "No politics!" for about ten minutes.
TOLLAND says we must begin to canvas a little soon. Horrible work, but
absolutely necessary.
* * * * *
BOWLS.
(BY A BUFFER.)
"Unfortunately (at bowls) one had to stoop to conquer: it is
that stooping which (except in politics) plays the deuce with
us after fifty."--_James Payn's Plea for Bowls_.
Yes, PAYN, you are right--as you commonly are--
The vertebræ creak and the ribs seem to jar,
When a man bends his back--after fifty--
If only to pull off his boots; he at length
Finds that curve in his spine is a strain on the strength
Of which middle-age must be thrifty.
But Bowls! Yes, my boy, it's a jolly old game,
Though athletic fanatics might vote it too tame,
But sense is not baffled by bogies.
The Emerald Green and the "bowls" and the "jack,"
Are beautiful--but for that bend in the back--
To those the young furies call "fogies."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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