(_She makes the tour of the Gallery, accompanied by CULCHARD, who admires her, against his better judgment, more and more._) ... I declare if that isn't your friend Mr. PODBURY just come in! I believe I'll have to give you up to him. _Culch._ (_eagerly_). I beg you will not think it necessary. He--he has a guide already. _He_ does not require my services. And, to be plain, my poor friend--though, an excellent fellow according to his--ah--lights--is a companion whose society occasionally amounts to a positive infliction. _Miss T._ Well, I find him too chinny myself, times. Likely he won't notice us if we don't seem to be aware of him. [_They continue to inspect the canvases._ _A Belgian Guide_ (_who has made an easy capture of PODBURY at the Hotel entrance_). Hier now is a shdrainch beecture. "De toughts and veesions of a saivered haid." Fairsst meenut afder degapitation; de zagonde; de tirt. Hier de haid tink dey vant to poot him in a goffin. Dere are _two_ haids--von goes op, de udder down. Haf you got de two? Nod yet? No? _Podbury_ (_shaking his head sagaciously_). Oh, ah, yes. Capital! Rum subject, though. _Guide._ Yais, vary magnifique, vary grandt, and--and rom also! Dees von rebresents Napoleon in hail. De modders show him de laigs and ahums of dair sons keeled in de vars, and invide him to drink a cop of bloodt. _Podb._ Ha, cheery picture that! _Guide._ Cheery, oh, yais! Now com and beep troo dis 'ole. (_PODBURY obeys with docility._) You see? A Mad Voman cooking her shildt in a gettle. Hier again, dey haf puried a man viz de golera pefore he is daid, he dries to purst de goffin, you see only de handt shdicking oudt. _Podb._ The old Johnny seems full of pretty fancies. (_He looks through another peephole._) Girl looking at skeleton. Any other domestic subjects on view? (_He suddenly sees Miss TROTTER and CULCHARD with their backs to him._) Hal--lo, this _is_ luck! I must go to the rescue, or that beggar CULCHARD will bore her to death in no time. (_To Guide._) Here, hold on a minute. (_Crosses to CULCHARD, followed by Guide._) How d'ye do, Miss TROTTER? Doing the Wild Wiertz Show, I see. Ah, CULCHARD, why didn't you tell me you were going--might have gone together. I say, I've got a guide here. _Culch._ (_drily_). So we perceive--a very sensible plan, no doubt, in some cases, my dear fellow. _Podb._ (_to Miss T._). Do come and listen to him, most intelligent chap--great fun. Mr. CULCHARD is above that sort of thing, I dare say. _Guide._ Your vriendts laike to choin, yais? Same for tree as for von. I exblain all de beecture. _Miss T._ You're vurry obliging, Mr. PODBURY, but your friend is explaining it all just splendidly. _Podb._ (_piqued_). Perhaps I had better dismiss my chap, and take on CULCHARD, too? _Miss T._ No, I'd just hate to have you do that. Keep on going round. You mustn't mind us, indeed!