_Podb._ Oh, if you'd rather! (_Gloomily, to Guide._) They can do without _us_. Just show me something more in the blood-and-thunder line--no, at the other end of the room. [_They withdraw._ _Guide._ Hier is von dat is vary amusant. You know de schtory of de Tree Vishes, eh? _Podb._ _Macbeth_, eh? oh, I see--_Wishes!_ No, what was that? _Guide_. I dell it you. (_He tells it; PODBURY falls into gloomy abstraction._) ... And inschdantly she vind a grade pig soasage at de end of her noâse. So de ole voman-- _Podb._ (_wearily_). Oh, I've heard all _that_. What's this one about? _Guide_. Dis is galled "De lasht Gannon." You see de vigure of Ceevilization flodderin op viz de vings, vile Brogress preaks asonder de lasht gon, and in a gorner a Genius purns de vrontier bost. _Podb._ (_captiously_). What's he doing _that_ for? _Guide_. I tont know. I subbose begause dey are bosts, or (_dubiously_) begause he is a Genius. _Culch._ (_touching PODBURY's arm as he goes out_). Oh--er--PODBURY, I'm off. Going to lunch somewhere with the--ah--TROTTERS. See you at _table d'hôte_ this evening, I suppose? Good-bye. _Podb._ (_savagely_). Oh, ta-ta! (_To himself_.). And that's the fellow who said he wanted to keep out of making friends! How the dickens am I going to get through the time by myself? (_To Guide_.) Here, that's enough for one day. When I want you again, I'll let you know. [_He dismisses him, and stands forlornly in the Gallery, while the Imperfectly Educated Daughter goes on spelling out the Catalogue for her Parents' edification._ * * * * * A STORY--OUT OF SEASON. [Illustration] So she's married to _him_! Whilst I travelled and wandered Far away, for the lack of aught better to do; Whilst my time and my money I recklessly squandered In a hunt for big game--she was doing it too! And I am not surprised he has fallen a prey to The graces and wiles of a maiden so fair; I must take a back seat as I humbly give way to The Earl and the Countess of Hanover Square. What a stroke of good luck! For, like little Jack Horner, She put in her finger and pulled out a plum; Yet there once was a time when _we_ sat in a corner-- AMARYLLIS and I--though her mother looked glum. If I do not forget, it took place in December, But I recollect better one evening in June, And, for all that has happened, I like to remember What we whispered and said by the light of the moon. But a truce to such thoughts, she has married another, I must tidy away all the memories of yore. There's a smile on the face of her match-making mother, And her family rejoice as they ne'er have before. It has happened. Her mother, I know, always said it Would prove to be so with her beautiful girl, And the fair AMARYLLIS has done herself credit Now she's married the catch of the season--an Earl.