What she did, after all, was perhaps for the best meant. She may even be fond of her Earl--who can tell? In the business of Life she has made her investment, Which I trust most sincerely she will find pay her well. And as for myself my ambition just _nil_ is, With my pipe and my dog I shall stay on the shelf, Though allow me to tell you, my dear AMARYLLIS, I'd have made you an excellent husband myself. * * * * * [Illustration: What will he do with it?] A PUZZLER, FOR EVEN SIR ANDR-W CL-RK, BART. M.D.--Case of dyspepsia. What ought to be prescribed for a patient suffering from severe indigestion, caused _by having eaten his own words?_ Perhaps one of the most distinguished members of the Medical Congress, possessing a great experience among Cabinet Ministers and other Parliamentary celebrities, will oblige with "a solution"? And this is a perfectly serious question, although it certainly sounds as if it were only intended for a Roose. * * * * * MR. CLIP'S APPEAL. [The Hairdressers' Early Closing Association of London (whose Central Office is at 6, Swallow Street, Piccadilly, W., and whose President is Mr. W.J. REED, and Hon. Sec., Mr. A.M. SUTTON), has for object "to secure and maintain one early-closing day per week, suitable to the neighbourhood, and to generally assist in obtaining time for rest and recreation, and promote better and healthier conditions for hairdressers."] [Illustration: HAIR AND HEXERCISE; OR, TAKING THE HAIR ON A 'OLE 'OLIDAY.] Dear BOB,--There's a stir in our noble Profession. The hope of the Hairdresser, silent so long, At last, like most others, is finding expression. We've started, dear BOB, and are now going strong. Early Closing's our object, which means that on _one_ day We want to shut up shops and scissors at five! Perhaps Saturday's best, BOB, as coming next Sunday-- Don't seem asking _much_, if they'd keep us alive. You cannot imagine how grinding our trade is-- Long hours, and long waits, BOB, when custom is slack! When the premises hold one old gent and two ladies, 'Tis hard for twelve chaps to be kept on the rack. To knock off at five on a Saturday eases Our week's work a little. One evening in six Ain't more than the Public can spare--if it pleases-- If only its hours 'twill conveniently fix. When a swell wants a shave, a shampoo, or a clipping, He likes to drop in at _his_ pleasure, no doubt; But surely he'd not keep us scraping and snipping To save him from being a trifle put out! If he'll but get fixed before five on a Saturday, We poor Hairdressers may get just a chance Of an hour or two's pleasure or rest on the latter day; Prospect to make many dreary eyes dance!