Now, my dear Sir or Madam, for this melancholy deterioration in the DABCHICKS you are entirely responsible. I am saddened as I contemplate it, and I appeal to you. Scarify Dukes and Duchesses, make vain and useless social prigs as miserable as you like, but leave the DABCHICKS of this world alone. They are simple folk, and really I cannot think that the game is worth the candle. Believe me to be, your obedient servant, DIOGENES ROBINSON. * * * * * BROADLY SPEAKING. Advised by friend to try Norfolk Broads for holiday. Oulton Broad, Wroxham Broad, Fritton Decoy (curious name!), Yare, Waveney, and no end of other rivers. Yachting, shooting, fishing, pretty scenery, divine air, he says. Have come down to Yarmouth for a start. Up the Bure in a yacht, and into river Thurne. All right so far. Fish scarce. My pilot says, "wait till I get to Hickling Broad. _Full_ of bream and roach." I agree to wait. In Hickling Broad. Surprised to find notice-boards up all round saying, "sailing" is prohibited in the Broad, also fishing and shooting! "What's the meaning of this?" I ask pilot. He says, "it's all the doings of the Lord of the Manor." Wants to keep the Broad free from tourists. He certainly does it "as to the Manor born." Quite a village autocrat. Shall I be the "Village HAMPDEN?" I will. Fishing. Several men on bank shouting at me. One comes off in a boat and serves me with a summons. This might almost be called a Broad hint to go away! But I don't go. I stop and fish. Another man comes off in boat and threatens me with action "on behalf of riparian owners." Tell him "ripe-pear-ian season isn't till Autumn, and I shall wait here till then." He doesn't see the joke--perhaps too broad for him. Other yachtsmen, we hear, have been stopped, and threatened. Yachtsmen up in arms generally. Savage artists wander along banks, denouncing Lord of Manor of Hickling. Say they have "right of way" along banks (sounds as if they were Railway Guards). Hear that Lord of Manor is going to put a gunboat on Broad, also torpedoes. Hear, also, that Wroxham Broad--one of the biggest--is to be closed in same way. Disgusted at such inhospitality. Back to Yarmouth. Give up yacht, and decide to go to Switzerland instead. Find Yarmouth yacht-owners furious with Hickling's Lord of Bad Manners. Say "closing the Broads will ruin them." Very likely, but it'll help the foreign hotel-keeper. Glad to see they've started a "Norfolk Broads Protection Society," subscriptions to be sent to Lloyd's Bank. "I know a Bank"--and all lovers of natural scenery and popular rights ought to know it too, and help in giving the Hickling obstructionist a "heckling," when he takes the matter (also the Manor) into Court. * * * * * [Illustration: INANITIES OF THE DRAWING-ROOM. "SEEN THE _ENFANT PRODIGUE_, MR. SOFTEY?" "NO; WAITING TILL THEY DO IT IN _ENGLISH_!"] * * * * * A TRIPLE ALLIANCE.