(_A SCENE OF TO-DAY, IN A SHAKSPEARIAN SETTING._) _Mr. Punch_. "How now, my hearts! Did you never see the picture of '_We Three_?'" _Emperor_. Marry, forfend, _Mr. Punch_! Well quoted indeed, and, pertinently, from the Swan! "A mellifluous, voice, as I am a true Knight!" But talk not of things triune too openly, lest quidnuncs overhear, and L-B-CH-RE devise thereanent fresh heckling interrogations for the Treasury Bench. _Mr. Punch_. Nay, Kaiser; 'tis not the actual Triple, but the conceivable Quadruple, that perturbs the importunates. _We_ Three form an informal but fast-knit trinity, that can offend none but churls, and affright none but dullards. Peace, Goodfellowship, Wit! By my bauble, a triad that PYTHAGORAS himself might have favoured! Talking of Threes, Kaiser, it's your third visit to us--and, believe me, you are thrice welcome. _Emperor_. "Yea, and I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But look you, pray, all you that kiss my lady Peace at home" (as _Jack Falstaff_ put it), that--you gird not too suspiciously at those who would fain embrace her abroad! _Mr. Punch_. Well quoted, Sir, though not directed to _mine_ address. But "A good wit will make use of anything. I will turn diseases to commodity." Two diseases of the time are, faction and fussiness--the one a fever, the other a prurigo. The one makes little of greatness, the other makes much of littleness. You have been the mark of both, young Hohenzollern! _Emperor_. "An't please you, it is the disease of not listening, the malady of not marking, that _I_ am troubled withal." _Mr. Punch_. _Falstaff_ again, and pertinently applied. Fitly did the Fat Knight say that he was not only witty himself, but the cause that wit is in other men. _Prince_. By cock and pye, _Poins_,--_Punch_ I mean--am _I_ to be out of this tournament of tags, this joust of quotations? Marry, not so! [_Grasps the EMPEROR's hand cordially._ "The Prince of WALES doth join with all the world In praise of--Kaiser WILHELM; by my hopes, I do not think a braver gentleman, More active-valiant, or more valiant-young, More daring, or more bold, is now alive To grace this latter age with noble deeds." _Mr. Punch_. Bravo! "Delivered with good respect." Your Royal Highness has fairly capped us! _Harry Monmouth_, KAISER, could not more fitly have "Trimmed up your praises with a princely tongue; Spoke your deserving like a chronicle." and _Harry Hotspur_ less deserved the praise. _Emperor_. "I will imitate the honourable Romans in brevity." I can but thank you both! (_To the PRINCE._) "By heavens, I cannot flatter; I defy The tongues of soothers; but a braver place In my heart's love hath no man than yourself." _Mr. Punch_. That's as it should be. If 'twere not always wholly so--but no matter! I love not to speak in needless or heedless dispraise of dignities, of "Shouting Emperors," or "Madcap Princes," but rather--