_Augustus_ (_penitently_). Never mind--I won't do it again. Here 's our Waiter at last. _Now_ we're all right! [_The_ Waiter _puts a dish down upon another table, and advances with the air of a family friend who brings bad tidings._ _Horatia_. Will you kindly let us have that trout at once? _The Waiter_ (_bending down to_ AUGUSTUS _with pity and sympathy_). Fery sôry to dell you, esbecially after keebin you so long vaiting, bot (_thinks how he can break it most gently_) ve haf zo many beople hier to-day, and zey haf shust dold me in ze gitchen zere is no more drout. Zis hote vedder ze drout, he vill nod stay! _Augustus_ (_mildly_). No, of course not--well, let me see, now, what can you--? _The E.A._ Here, you Kellner, come here, can't you? What the-- _Waiter_ (_to_ AUGUSTUS). Von minute. I gom back bresently. (_To_ E.A.) You vant your pill, Sir, yes? _The E.A._ (_exploding_). My bill! Confound it! I want something to eat first. When is that Bisque coming? _Waiter_. Ach, peg your bardon, ve haf peen so pusy all day. Your Bisque vill pe retty diregly. I go to vetch him. [_He goes._ _Horatia_. Now we're farther off from getting any food than ever! I suppose you mean to do _something_, AUGUSTUS? _Augustus_. Of course--certainly. I shall speak very strongly. (_Bleating_.) Waiter! _Horatia_ (_with scorn_). _Do_ you imagine they will pay the least attention to a noise like a sixpenny toy? Lot them see you _insist_ upon being obeyed. _Augustus_. I am--I mean, I will--I am very much annoyed. (_Fiercely_.) Wa-ai-ter! _A Stern Waiter_ (_appearing suddenly_.) You vant somsing, Sir? _Augustus_ (_apologetically_). Yes; we should--er--like something to eat--anything--so long as you can bring it at once, if you don't mind. "We--this Lady is rather in a hurry, and we've waited some little time already, you see. _The Waiter_. Peg your bardon, zis is nod my daple. I send your Vaiter. [_He vanishes._ _The E.A_. Scandalous! over twenty minutes we've been here! Ha! at last! (_A_ Waiter _appears with a tureen, which he uncovers._) Here, what do you call _this?_ _Waiter_. Groûte au Bot--you order him, yes? No? I dake him away! [_He whisks it away, to the chagrin of_ Guest, _who thought it smelt nice._ The E.A_. I ordered Bisque--where is it? and I want some wine, too--a pint of Pommery '84, and a small lager. If they're not here very soon, I'll-- _The Guest_ (_trying to make the best of things_). Nothing for it but patience, I suppose. _The E.A._ (_with intention_). I had very little of _that_ left before I sat down, I can tell you!