["The Lord Chancellor declares himself the foe of any 'technical system' which excludes 'anybody who knows anything about the facts from the opportunity of stating what is the truth.' ... We may take it that very soon we shall see that which may appear strange to English lawyers, but really is most reasonable--the accused stepping out of the dock into the witness-box, and giving his evidence, subject to the ordeal of cross-examination. It may be a bad look-out for rogues, but for nobody else."--_Times_.] The Law _should_ be the embodiment Of everything that is excellent. But I fancy I've found one diminutive flaw In that else impeccable thing, the Law. As its constitutional guardian, I Must extract that mote from the legal eye. It seems a preposterous paradox To exclude the accused from the Witness's Box. To alter that is a duty for A very unprejudiced Chancellor. Here's the Box, my SIKES! With particular pride I invite you, WILLIAM, to--step inside, Some peculiar things, things rich and rare, I shall have to show you when you are there. "Will you walk into my par----" _dear_ me! What a curious matter is memory! What, _what_ has that old song to do With the little matter 'twixt me and you? I apologise for the irrelevance, for I _am_ such a logical Chancellor! If you step inside--as I trust you will-- We shall worm out the Truth with forensic skill; And if you decline--as I hope you won't-- We shall know there are reasons, friend, why you don't. So the Truth must benefit any way, My beloved BILL. _What_ is that you say? You don't care a cuss for the Truth? Oh, fie! Truth makes one a free man. _Step in and try!_ The triumph of Truth is a triumph for A highly inquisitive Chancellor! 'Twill be most instructive to Judge and Jury To hear you give evidence. Why this fury? We can judge, you see, by the way he'll behave, 'Twixt a simpleton and a clever knave. The _Times_ says so. Eh! _Confound the Times?_ Oh, _don't_ say _so_, BILL! A man of crimes Might funk the ordeal; but this is the plan To help the Law--and the Honest Man; And therefore the plan of all plans for A highly compassionate Chancellor! * * * * * ROBERT ON THE LORD MARE'S SHO. Well, I've had the grate good luck to have seen praps as menny Lord Mare's Shos as most peeple, praps more--not so menny, in course, as that werry old but slitely hexadgerating Lady, as bowsted as she had seen hunderds on 'em--but for sum things, speshally for Rain, and mud, and slush, the last one beats 'em all holler! What poor little Whales could have done to put the Clark of the Whether into sitch a temper, in course I don't know, but if he'd have had a good rattling attack of the gout in both big Tos, like some past Lord Mares as we has most on us heard on, he coudn't posserbly have bin in a wuss one.