_Foreman_. Quite so. We teach it in six easy lessons, at twelve shillings a lesson. You can pay for it either out of your reserved pay, or now. If the latter, we allow five per cent. discount. _Recruit_ (_without hesitation_). I think I will pay it later. _Foreman_ (_putting up his receipt-book_). Certainly, Sir, No difference to us. And now, Sir, perhaps you will take your lessons. [_Recruit goes through a course which soon puts him to-rights. At the end he shakes Foreman warmly by the hand._ _Recruit_. You are sure that I really know my drill? _Foreman_. Quite. Why, Sir, you are letter perfect. And now, is there anything more we can do for you? _Recruit_. Well, I did join the Army with the intention of going to the wars. _Foreman_ (_apologetically_). Very sorry, Sir, but we haven't the article on hand just at present. Sure to have some by-and-by. Is there anything else we can do for you, Sir? _Recruit_. Well, failing a war, I should like a passage to India. _Foreman_ (_in a deprecatory tone_). Well, Sir, frankly, we cannot recommend it. But if you have made up your mind, we must ask you to step over to the Waste Department. They settle such-like matters there. See over yonder, Sir, where that venerable General on crutches is. He has just got a Colonelcy, but he can't hold it very long, as he is over eighty! And now I must say adieu, as I have other pupils claiming my assistance. Good day! [_Starts off, and prepares food for powder in other quarters. Curtain._ * * * * * [Illustration: "BREEZY BRIGHTON."] * * * * * [Illustration: THE REVOLT OF THE RATEPAYERS AGAINST KING KOUNTY KOUNCIL THE FIRST. (TEMPLE, WEMYSS, AND SAVORY LEAD THE ATTACK.)] * * * * * THE BOARD ON BOTH SIDES. SCENE--_A Railway Carriage. Present two Passengers discussing the Topics of the Day._ _First Passenger_. And then there's the School Board! I am on my way to record my vote. _Second Pass._ And so am I. I hope, Sir, we are of both of the way of thinking? _First Pass._ I hope so, too. My idea is to give the children of the poor every possible advantage. Let them learn all they can. Yes, Sir, let them learn all they can. [Illustration: "Why, it's as plain as the Nose on your face!"] _Second Pass._ (_excitedly_). But, my dear Sir, what can be the good of that? It will be of no use to them in their future, and will only make them dissatisfied with their position. _First Pass._ (_calmly_). Ah, my dear Sir, you evidently take a narrow view of the subject. Why should not the poor enjoy equality with the rich? It is only the accident of birth that divides the peasant from the Peer. _Second Pass._ (_obstinately_). I do not care about the cause, I only look to the result--the rich _are_ divided from the poor. It is ridiculous that an orange-girl should play the piano, and a ploughman paint a picture.