To shorten the long, and to lengthen the short, May have made the Greek robber-chief excellent sport; But the Stretcher's strange pallet-rack seems out of date In the land of the free, 'neath a well-ordered State. MENIPPUS told NIREUS,[1] that pet of the ladies, Equality perfect prevaileth in--Hades "Where all are alike." Said THERSITES, "for me That's enough," but _beau_ NIREUS could hardly agree With such levelling down to the churl who for shape In his strange second life chose the form of an ape. For THERSITES & Co., for the weakly and small, Who in free competition must go to the wall, The plan of PROCRUSTES has obvious charms: "Cut 'em down to _our_ standard, chop legs, shorten arms! Bring us all to one level in power and pay, By the rule of a legalised Eight Hours Day!" So shouts Labour's Lilliput--that is _its_ voice, And the modern PROCRUSTES thereat must rejoice. "No giants, no dwarfs!" So say BROWNING and BURT, But to "raise the whole race" can't be done in a spurt, And while Nature provides us with genius _and_ clown, There is nought to be gained by mere levelling down. So the plan of PROCRUSTES, my boys, will not work, Or will benefit none save the sluggard or shirk. Oh yes, the bold bully stands swaggering there With the axe in his hand, and his head in the air, Type of heedless Compulsion, the shallow of pate, Who man's freedom would sell to a fetish of State. Self-help and joint effort, as BURT wisely said, Are better by far than--that comfortless bed. That new Little-Ease that free Labour would pack, On a sort of plank-pillow combined with a rack. "Come on, longs and shorts!" shouts PROCRUSTES the New, "Law shall lend us its axe, and its rope, and its screw I must make you all fit to my Bed standard-sized!" Ah! Labour may well look a little surprised. "Fit us all to _that_ cramped prison-pallet! Oh lor! It may suit a few stumpies, but England holds more. Might as well fit us out with fixed 'duds' from our birth. Regardless of difference in growth, or in girth. No! Snap-votes may be caught 'midst a Congress's roar, But tool us all down to one gauge, mate? Oh lor!!!"