Now may she, with some sense of shame, Amend the errors of the past, Show honour to the Great Duke's name, Repair the wrong to STEPHENS' fame, And move the Monument at last! * * * * * "KNOW ALL MEN BY THESE PRESENTS." It is believed that the Rossendale Union of Liberal Clubs, having given a pair of slippers, a rug, and two pieces of cretonne to Mr. GLADSTONE, will also make the following presents, in due course:-- _Sir W. L-ws-n._--Twelve dozen Tea-cosies, and ten yards of blue Ribbon. _Mr. L-b-ch-re._--A Jester's cap. _Sir W.V. H-rc-rt._--A Spencer, without arms, but emblazoned with those of the Plantagenets. _Mr. M-cl-re._--A Hood. _Mr. McN-ll._--A knitted Respirator, to be worn in the House. _Lord R. Ch-rch-ll._--Twelve dozen table-cloths, twenty-four dozen Dinner-napkins, and thirty-six dozen Pudding-cloths. _Sir E. Cl-rke._--A scarlet Jersey, inscribed "Salvation Army." _Mr. R. Sp-nc-r._--A Smock Frock. _Mr. B-lf-r._--Some Collars of Irish linen, and one of hemp, the latter to be supplied by the Irish patriots in America. _Mr. E. St-nh-pe._--A Necktie of green poplin, embroidered with shamrocks. _Mr. M. H-ly._--An Ulster. _Col. S-nd-rs-n._--A Cork jacket. _Mr. W. O'Br-n._--A pair of Tr----rs, in fancy cretonne. _Sir G.O. Tr-v-ly-n._--A Coat (reversible). _Mr. C. C-nyb-re._--A Waistcoat (strait). * * * * * [Illustration: "UNDERSTOOD." "I SAY, DUBOIS, YOU _DO_ KNOW HOW TO LAY IT ON THICK, OLD MAN! I LIKE YOUR CHEEK TELLING MISS BROWN SHE SPOKE FRENCH WITHOUT THE LEAST ACCENT!" "VY, CERTAINEMENT, MON AMI--VIZOUT ZE LEAST _FRENCH_ ACCENT!"] * * * * * "THE (SOLDIERS') LIFE WE LIVE." (_Imaginary Evidence that should be added to the Report of Lord Wantage's Committee._) _Chairman._ I think your name is RICHARD REDMOND? _Witness._ I beg pardon, my Lord and Gentlemen--DICK REDMOND--simple, gushing, explosive DICK. _Chair._ Have you been known by any other name? _Wit._ Off duty, my Lord, I have been called CHARLES WARNER. Nay, why should I not confess it?--CHARLIE WARNER. Yes, my Lord, CHARLIE WARNER! _Chair._ You wish to describe how you were enlisted? _Wit._ Yes, my Lord. It was in this way. I had returned from some races in a dog-cart with a villain. We stopped at a wayside public-house kept by a comic Irishman. _Chair._ Are these details necessary? _Wit._ Hear me, my Lord; hear me! I confess it, I took too much to drink. Yes, my Lord, I was drunk! And then a Sergeant in the Dragoon Guards gave me a shilling, and placed some ribands in my pot-hat, and--well--I was a soldier! Yes, a soldier! And as a soldier was refused permission to visit my dying mother! _Chair._ Were there no other legal formalities in connection with your enlistment? For instance--Were you not taken before an attesting Magistrate?