_Coun._ (_amiably_). I think we shall get on better--more quickly--if you kindly attend to my questions. _Wit._ Think so? Well, it's a matter of opinion. But, as I have an engagement in another place, be good enough to ask what you are instructed to ask, and settle the matter off-hand. _Coun._ If you will allow me to speak-- _Wit._ Speak!--I like that! Why I can't get a rational word out of you! _Coun._ (_appealing to Judge_). Surely, my Lord, he has no right to speak to me like this? _Judge_. Be good enough to attend to the Witness. I have nothing to do with it. _Wit._ (_impatiently_). Now, Sir, am I to wait all day? _Coun._ (_mildly_). I really venture to suggest that is not quite the tone to adopt. _Wit._ Don't bully me, Sir! I am here to answer any questions you like to put, always supposing that you have any worth answering. _Coun._ But come--surely you ought to-- _Wit._ I am not here to learn my duty from you, Sir. You don't know your subject, Sir. How long have you been called? _Coun._ I decline to reply. _Judge_ (_to Counsel_). Now you had really better be careful. I wish to treat the Bar with every respect, but if you waste any more time I shall feel strongly inclined to bring your conduct before your Benchers. _Wit._ You hear what his Lordship says. What are you going to do next? _Coun._ (_confused_). I don't know. _Wit._ (_to Jury_). He doesn't know! I needn't stay here any longer. [_"Stands" down._ _Judge_ (_to Jury_). May I ask you, Gentlemen, how you consider this case is being conducted? _Foreman of the Jury_. With pleasure, my Lord. We were all using the same word which exactly describes the situation. We consider the deportment of the Witness "noble." Distinctly noble. [_Scene closes in upon despair of Counsel._ * * * * * ROBERT IN A FOG! Well, if we ain't a been and had a werry pretty dose of reel London Fog lately, I, for one, shood like to kno when we did have one. As for its orful effecks upon tempers, speshally female ones, Well, it's about enuff to drive a pore Waiter, let alone a hard-workin, middel-aged Husband, stark staring mad! [Illustration] However, thank goodness, I've got one werry grand xception, and he reglar cheers me up with his constant good humer.