* * * * * ENCOUNTER. (_An Effort in the Spasmodic-Obscure, after the American Original quoted by Mr. James Payn in "Our Note-Book."_) Two Spooks, swirled fast along the Vast, Meeting each other "at the double," Collided, squirmed, then howled aghast, Each to the other, "What's _your_ trouble?" "Alas!" one whined, "Rymed Rot I read, Affected to admire, and quote it!" The other wailed, with shame-bowed head, "My case is even worse,--_I wrote it_!" * * * * * THE SCALE WITH THE FALSE WEIGHTS. (_A PAGE FROM THE NEWGATE CALENDAR--UP-TO-DATE EDITION._) The two Convicts were tried at the same Assizes, put in the same dock and sentenced by the same Judge. So a companionship sprang up between them considering that one was by birth and education a Gentlemen, and the other was not. And they went to the same prison, and listened to the same words of the same Chaplain, and took their occasional exercise in the same practising yard. And as luck would have it, they served the same time, and were liberated at the same moment. "I am afraid I must say good-bye, GILES," said ST. JAMES, as they emerged into freedom from the portals of the gaol. "Good fellow as you are, GILES, you do not belong to my set, and your presence would be embarrassing." "Oh, would it!" returned GILES, who had already recognised some of his friends. "Well, I don't want to press my company on anyone." "No offence!" exclaimed ST. JAMES, "I beg you--no offence! But we have both to begin life again, and union is not strength in a case such as ours!" "Oh, no offence!" acquiesced GILES, as he accompanied some of his pals to a neighbouring public-house. ST. JAMES, left to his own devices, hurried to the Chambers that he used to rent before he went to prison. They were "To Let." He rang the bell, and the porter started back when he saw him. "Hope you don't want to enter, Sir," said he; "but the Guv'nor gave strict orders, as if you called, that you was not to go in. It ain't my fault, Sir, but the Guv'nor is the Guv'nor!" Disheartened by this rebuff, he tried the house of a friend, but was so scornfully received, that he made up his mind never to visit another acquaintance. Of course he found that his name had been removed from his Clubs, and not a single individual would recognise him. He was an outcast, and a ruined man. So he walked about the streets until his shoes were in holes, and his last penny exhausted. Then he lay down to sleep. But this was against the regulations, and so he was hustled from pillar to post, until at last he found himself in a very low part of town. He was trudging past a public-house, when who should emerge from its cheerful-looking recesses but GILES. "Hallo!" cried the young man, who seemed the picture of health, "are _you_ down?" "Yes--very," returned ST. JAMES. "I haven't a friend in the world, and no one will have anything to say to me."