Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 5, 1892 — John Shaqi
Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 5, 1892Various
General
Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 5, 1892
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Three months afterwards there was a tempest in Dansington. COBBYN had gone
away for two days and had stayed away for good. His intimates and the
Dansington tradesmen became uneasy, rumours began to spread, and the result
was a crash which made some very knowing fellows look extremely foolish,
and filled the Club with honest British imprecations. Little TOM SPINDLE,
who commanded a troop of the Fallowshire Yeomanry (the Duke of
DASHBOROUGH'S Hussars) and had the reputation of spending a royal income
with beggarly meanness, had backed one of COBBYN'S bills for £1,000. Sir
PAUL PACKTHREAD, one of the greatest of the local magnates, had lent him
£500 without a scrap of security, and Colonel CHUTNEY had put £300 into the
Ephemeral Soapsuds Company, Limited, of which COBBYN was to have been the
managing director. I cannot go through the whole long list. He had fleeced
all that was fleeceable in Dansington, and had vanished into the clouds.
How he managed to do it, by what artful proposals he conquered the avarice
of SPINDLE, prevailed over the mercantile sagacity of PACKTHREAD, and
subdued the fiery temper of CHUTNEY, will never be known. Partly, no doubt,
he succeeded by being here and there perfectly truthful and candid. He
_was_ the son of a well-to-do country Squire, but the father had long since
ejected his offspring from the paternal mansion; he had really travelled
and had often displayed pluck. But his chief gifts were his good-humour,
his ardent imagination, and a persuasive tongue that gained for him the
trusting confidence of his victims almost before he himself knew that he
meant to victimise them.
They tell me he is now established somewhere in the West of America.
Wherever he goes he is sure to be popular--for a time.
Goodbye, dear old PLAU!
I hope I haven't bored you.
Yours trustfully,
DIOGENES ROBINSON.
* * * * *
A WILDE "TAG" TO A TAME PLAY.
SCENE--_A Theatre with Audience and Company complete. The former
"smart" and languidly enthusiastic, the last wearily looking forward to
the final "Curtain." The last Act is all but over._
_Servant_ (_to_ Countess). The Duchess of BATTERSEA is in the Hall. May she
come up?
_Countess._ Certainly. Why did you not show her up at once?
_Servant_ (_arranging his powdered hair in a glass_). Because in cases of
exposure her Grace is quite equal to showing up herself!
_Countess_ (_smiling_). You are cynical, JOHN. Do you not know that
cynicism is the birthright of fools, and, when discovered, is more than
half found out?
_Servant_ (_taking up coal scuttle_). Like the hair of your Lady-ship--out
of curl! [_Exit._
_Countess._ A quaint conceit; but here is my husband. Let me avoid him. A
married man is quite out of date--save when he forms the subject of his own
obituary. [_Exit._
_A pause. Enter the_ Duchess of BATTERSEA.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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