Sweet, in a sordid age, it is to find _One_ Abdiel to enticement bravely blind, _One_ class not thrall to Plutus. But, hurroo! England rejoice aloud, for thou hast _two_. Sweet are the uses of--Advertisement, To huckster souls, whose god is Cent-per-cent. The Mart, the Forum, and--alas!--the Fane. Self-trumpeting, in type, cannot restrain; The leaded column and the poster smart Seduce the Histrio; e'en the thrall of Art Bows to the modern Baal of Pot and Paste, That deadly foe of Modesty and Taste. The Poet poses publicly, the Scribe Knows how to vaunt, to logroll, and to bribe. But there be those share not the general taint; The pestle-wielding Sage, the silk-gowned Saint. Redeem our fallen race from the dark shade That would confuse Professions with mere Trade. No, briefs and bills of costs _may_ loom too big, _Harpagon_ hide beneath a horsehair wig, _Sangrado_ thrive on flattery and shrewd knack. And _Dulcamara_, safe in silence, quack; But--chortle, oh ye good, rejoice, ye wise!-- Physic and Law will never--_Advertise_! * * * * * "THE PARIAH."--In the latest copy to hand of that wonderful penn'orth of gossip and information, _Sala's Journal_, Vol. I. No. 16, and in the very first line of the light and leading article, our "G.A.S." asks "Is Woman a Pariah?" Of course she is not, we reply, not even if she be the very masculinest of females. Some, if they are "Riahs" at all, are "Ma-riahs." "Riah," it may be remembered, is the abbreviated form of the name as in the once popular Coster's song of "_What cheer Riah?_" Whether spelt with or without an "h" is of no consequence, the Coster not being particular. * * * * * TO DR. LOUIS ROBINSON. (_Who said at the British Association that a Baby was an animal as interesting as any which had been brought from the uttermost parts of the Earth_.) Quite right, Dr. ROBINSON, perfectly right, No longer the need to repair to the Zoo; No longer we'll see with increasing delight The quarrelsome Monkey, the blithe Kangaroo. But the "animal's interest" shall charm us instead, Though it's scarcely a charm _you've_ discovered,--at least There's many a father who's pointedly said, That his int'resting Babe was a "mere little beast!" * * * * * SEASONABLE BUT UNFAIR.--When you have to pay heavily for light refreshments. * * * * * [Illustration: ATAVISM. _Proud Mother_. "BUT _REALLY_ NOW, DR. BIRCH, DON'T YOU THINK IT RATHER EXTRAORDINARY THAT WE SHOULD HAVE _THREE_ SUCH CLEVER SONS?" _Dr. B._ "WHY, NO, MY DEAR MADAM; NOW YOU HAVE TOLD ME WHAT A REMARKABLY CLEVER _GRANDMOTHER_ THEY HAD!"] * * * * * THE NEXT VIVA VOCE. ["Due consideration will be given in the selection of Candidates for Scholarships to proficiency in athletics."--_Daily Paper_.]