The Missing Word! Maiden Forlorn, 'tis a poser you put to the country, the cliques, and the classes, The Landlord, The Farmer, the Labourer! Say they agree, what response may you hope from "the Masses." Those tiresome "Consumers"? Old myths and new rumours are like the East wind, Maiden, mighty unfilling; Bucolic ideas and crude panaceas won't help you, though with them all Fad-dom is thrilling. Yes, Fads make strange bedfellows, WINCHILSEA tells us, in this far more wise than he's wholly aware of. But CHAPLIN-_cum_-WALSH cannot turn back time's tide. And _Punch_, who _all_ interests has to take care of, Must tell you in kindness, that only sheer blindness can say of Protection the true Missing Word it is, Though men, my poor Maiden, with worries o'erladen, will lend ear to Quackdom's most arrant absurdities! * * * * * Suggestions for New Musical Publications. A COMPANION to _The Stars of Normandy_, to be entitled, _The North Pole-Star_ (the words by COLD-WETHERBY), to be sung by CHARLES VERY CHILLEY. If sung at St. James's Hall, admission generally, one shilling. Freeze-seats, nothing. "_The Carnival_" is announced, as "MOLLOY'S last hit." We hope not. We trust that it is only Misther JAMES MOLLOY's _latest_ hit. "Never say die!" As a companion to "_Come Dance the Romaika_," will be published, "_Come Read the Romeike_," set up and composed by the Press Cutting Agency. * * * * * RATHER STARTLING.--A Correspondent sends us a cutting from a paper:-- "Mr. MOODY, the Evangelist, who was a passenger on the _Spree_, ... preached an able discourse." She says, "I can read no more to-day. Mr. MOODY, as 'a passenger on the _Spree_,' is too much for my feelings." As _Joe_ said to _Pip_, "What larks!" Yours truly, SHOCKED! * * * * * [Illustration: "THE MISSING WORD." (?) ["The Agricultural Conference unhappily seems to have made up its mind to defy the recognised laws of economic science, instead of endeavouring to adapt their farming methods to them. The first of the two operative resolutions passed yesterday was an undisguised proposal for the re-adoption of Protection."--_The Times._]] * * * * * THE MAN WHO WOULD. IV.--THE MAN WHO WOULD BE A CRITIC.