_Pub._ Only two. Which shall we have, a happy or a wretched ending? _Auth._ Either you please. One's as easy as the other. What are they? _Pub._ First a man dying in the prairie is threatened by a vulture. _Auth._ Evidently _Edwin_. You see, we have already disposed of the wicked cousin. What is the other? _Pub._ Oh, the conventional thing--bridal party in a village church. I wish we could use both. _Auth._ So we can. Cut down bridal block, and punch out enough of sky in prairie to make room for it. Then give the legend, "And _Edwin_ died happily, for in his vision he saw his love once more as he had hoped to see her. With his last breath he blessed her as she stood beside him at the altar." That will do, and then I can finish off with, "Who knows they may not meet again? THE END." _Pub._ And now I want to ask your opinion about some trade advertisements. I want to know if we can work them in? [_Scene closes in upon arrangements of a business-like character._ * * * * * THE KISS. (_By a Jubilant Juryman._) [Kissing the Book is now to be dispensed with as part of a Juryman's duties.] LIP to lip is pleasant altogether, But there is no charm in lip to leather All the bards who've sung of osculation, Down from OVID to song's last sensation, Could not lend romance, or even sense, To the Court's poor labial pretence, Always meaningless, and most unpleasant. Here the past _is_ bettered by the present. Kissing is the due of Love and Beauty, Dull and dismal when 'tis made mere duty. Mere lip-loyalty to Love means little-- But to Truth? 'Tis not worth jot or tittle! When from lip to lip in cold formality Passed the grubby cover, in reality Binding kissing made no oath more binding Nor more easy Justice's clear finding. Therefore, thanks to common sense,--long missing-- That makes obsolete _one_ form of kissing! * * * * * "THERE AND BACK." FIRST night at Covent Garden of new Opera, _Irmengarda_, by Chevalier, not Chevalier Coster, but Chevalier EMIL BACH. In this plot the women of a besieged city are allowed to leave it, carrying whatever is most precious on their backs--but this one BACH can't carry _Irmengarda_, which is, however, not too, too precious, but is supportable. Sir DRURIOLANUS OPERATICUS "gives a Back," and it's "Over!" First Act, while performing, is promising; second very much after, or behind the first. House full. Everybody good, specially VALDA and ABRAMOFF. Mr. ARMBRUSTER conducted the MASCAGNI-_cum_-WAGNER-&-CO. music. Everybody happy, specially BACH himself, who was not backwards in coming forwards, and bowing his acknowledgments.