_Second L. C._ Hold hard a bit. Have you read him? _Third L. C._ Yes, let's 'ave that first. 'Ave you _read_ 'im? _First L. C._ (_with dignity_). I've read as much of him as I care to. _Second L. C._ (_aggressively_). What have you read of his? Name it. _First L. C._ I've read his _Atlantis in Caledonia_, for one thing. _Second L. C._ (_disappointed_). Well, you don't deny there's poetry in _that_, do you? _First L. C._ I don't call it poetry in the sense I call WALT WHITMAN poetry--certainly not. _Second L. C._ There you touch a wider question--there's no _rhyme_ in WHITMAN, to begin with. _First L. C._ No more there is in MILTON; but I suppose you'll admit _he's_ a poet. [_And so on, until none of them is quite sure what he is arguing about exactly, though each feels he has got decidedly the best of it._ _First Lady Clerk_ (_at adjoining table, to_ Second L. C.). How excited those young men do get, to be sure. I do like to hear them taking up such intellectual subjects, though. Now, _my_ brothers talk of nothing but horses, and music-halls, and football, and things like that. _Second L. C._ (_pensively_). I expect it's the difference in food that accounts for it. I don't think I _could_ care for a man that ate meat. Are you going to have another muffin, dear? _I_ am. _An Elderly Lady, with short hair and spectacles (to_ Waitress). Can you bring me some eggs? _Waitress._ Certainly, Madam. How would you like them done--_a la cocotte?_ _The E. L._ (_with severity_). Certainly _not_. You will serve them _respectably_ dressed, _if_ you please! _Waitress_ (_puzzled_). We can give you "Convent eggs" if you prefer it. _The E. L._ I never encourage superstition--poach them. _Enter a_ Vegetarian Enthusiast, _with a_ Neophyte, _to whom he is playing Amphitryon_. _The Veg. Enth._ (_selecting a table with great care_). Always like to be near the stove, and out of the draught. (_The prettiest Waitress approaches, and greets him with a sacerdotal sweetness, as one of the Faith, while to the Neophyte--whom she detects, at a glance, as still without the pale--she is severely tolerant._) Now, what are _you_ going to have? [_Passing him the bill of fare._ _The Neoph._ (_inspecting the document helplessly_). Well, really, er--I think I'd better follow _your_ lead. _The Veg. Enth._ I generally begin with a plate of porridge myself--clears the palate, y'know. _The Neoph._ (_unpleasantly conscious that it wouldn't clear his_ ). I'm afraid that, at this time of day--to tell you the truth (_with desperate candour_), I never _was_ a porridge lover. [_The_ Waitress _regards him sorrowfully._ _The Veg. Enth._ Pity! Wholesomest thing you can take. More sustenance to the square inch in a pint of porridge than a leg of mutton. However (_tolerantly_), if you really won't, I can recommend the rice and prunes. _The Neoph._ (_feebly_). I--I'd rather begin with something a little more----