_Waitress_ (_with a sad foreknowledge that she is casting pearls before a swine_). We have "Flageolet Fritters and Cabbage," or "Parsnip Pie with grilled Potatoes"--both very nice. _The Neoph._ (_braving the unknown_). I'll have some of this--er--"Cinghalese Stew." [_He awaits the result in trepidation._ _Customer_ (_behind, dictating his bill_). "What have I had?" Let me see. Braised turnip and bread sauce, fricassee of carrot and artichoke, tomato omelette, a jam roll, and a bottle of zoedone. [_The_ Waitress _makes out his voucher accordingly, and awards it to him, with a bright smile of approval and encouragement._ _The Enth. V._ (_who has overheard_). A most excellent selection! That's a man, Sir, who knows how to _live_! Ha! here's my porridge. Will you give me some brown sugar with it, please? And--(_to the_ N.)--there's your stew--smells good, eh? _The Neoph._ (_tasting it, and finding it a cunning compound of curried bananas and chicory_). I--I like the _smell_--excellent indeed! [_He attacks the stew warily._ _The Enth. Veg._ (_disposing of his porridge_). There! Now I shall have some lentils and spinach with parsley sauce, and a Welsh rarebit to follow--and I think that will about do me. Will you--oh, you haven't finished your stew yet! By the way, what will you drink? I don't often indulge in champagne in the middle of the day; but it's my birthday--so I think we might venture on a bottle between us, eh? _The Neoph._ (_in whom the Cinghalese Stew has excited a lively thirst_). By all means. I suppose you know the brands here? _The Veg. Enth._ Only one brand--non-alcoholic, of course. Manufactured I believe, from--ah--oranges. _The Neoph._ Exactly so. After all, I'd just as soon have bottled ale--if they keep it, that is. _The Veg. Enth._ Any quantity of it. What shall it be? They've "Anti-Bass Beer," or "Spruce Stout;" or perhaps you'd like to try their "Pennyroyal Porter?" I'm rather partial to it myself--capital tonic! _The Neoph._ I--I've no doubt of it. On second thoughts, if you don't mind, I'd rather have water. (_To himself._) It doesn't _look_ Vegetarian! _The Veg. Enth._ (_more heartily than ever_). Just as you please, my boy. But you don't mean to say you've done! _The Neoph_ (_earnestly_). Indeed, I couldn't touch another morsel, really! _The Veg. Enth._ I _thought_ that stew looked satisfying; that's where it _is_, you see--a man can come here and get a thoroughly nutritious and filling meal for the trifling sum of fourpence--and yet you meet people who tell you Vegetarianism is a mere passing fad! It's a force that's making itself increasingly felt--you must be conscious of that yourself already? _The Neoph._ (_politely_). Y-yes--but it's not at all unpleasant at present--really! _Enter a couple of_ Red-faced Customers _from the country, who seat themselves._ _First Redf. C._ Well, I dunno how _you_ 're feelin'--but I feel as if I could peck a bit.