_The V. M._ Soldiers, eh?--yes--but you see, it might turn out to be a girl after all--and then---- _Salesw._ I see, you want something that would do equally well for either. _Here_'s a toy now. (_She brings out a team of little tin swans on wheels._) You fix a stick in the end--so--and wheel it in front of you, and all the little swans go up and down. [_She wheels it up and down without enthusiasm._ _The V. M. (inspecting it feebly)._ Oh--the swans go up and down, eh? It isn't quite--but very likely it won't--May as well have that as something else--Yes, you can send it to--let me see--is it Hampstead or Notting Hill they're living at now? (_To the_ Saleswoman, _who naturally cannot assist him._) No, of course, _you_ wouldn't know. Never mind, I'll take it with me--don't trouble to wrap it up! [_He carries it off--to forget it promptly in a hansom._ _A Genial Uncle (entering with Nephews and Nieces)._ Plenty to choose from here, eh? Look about and see what you'd like best. _Jane (the eldest, sixteen, and "quite a little woman")._ I'm sure they would much rather _you_ chose for them, Uncle! _Uncle._ Bless me, _I_ don't know what boys and girls like nowadays--they must choose for themselves! _Salesw. (wearily)._ Perhaps one of the young gentlemen would like a dredging-machine? The handle turns, you see, and all the little buckets go round the chain and take up sand or mud--or there's a fire-engine, _that's_ a nice toy, throws a stream of real water. [TOMMY, _aged eleven, is charmed with the dredging-machine, while the fire-engine finds favour in the eyes of_ BOBBY, _aged nine._ _Jane (thoughtfully)._ I'm afraid the dredging-machine is rather a _messy_ toy, Uncle, and the fire-engine wouldn't do at all, either--it would be sure to encourage them to play with fire. BOBBY, if you say "blow!" once more, I shall tell Mother. Uncle is the best judge of what's suitable for you! _Uncle._ Well, there's something in what you say, JENNY. We must see if we can't find something better, that's all. _Salesw._ I've a little Toy-stige, 'ere--with scenes and characters in "_Richard Cured o' Lyin'_" complete and ready for acting--how would that do? [TOMMY _and_ BOBBY _cheer up visibly at this suggestion._ _Jane._ I _don't_ think Mother would like them to have _that_, Uncle--it might give them a _taste_ for theatres, you know! _Uncle._ Ha--so it might--very thoughtful of you, JANE--Mustn't get in your Mother's bad books; never do! What's in these boxes? soldiers? How about these, eh, boys? [_The boys are again consoled._ _Jane (gently)._ They're getting _rather_ too big for such babyish things as soldiers, Uncle! I tell you what _I_ think--if you got a nice puzzle-map for TOMMY--he's so backward in his Geography--and a drawing slate for BOBBY, who's getting on so nicely with his drawing, and a little work-box--not an _expensive_ one, of course--for WINNIE, that would be _quite_----