[_These sisterly counsels are rewarded by ungrateful and rebellious roars._ _Uncle._ TOMMY, did I hear you address your sister as a "beast"? Come--come! And what are you all turning on the waterworks for, eh? Strikes me, JANE, you haven't _quite_ hit off their tastes! _Jane (virtuously)._ I have only told you what I know Mother would _wish_ them to have, Uncle; and, even if I _am_ to have my ankles kicked for it, I'm sure I'm right! _Uncle._ Always a consolation, my dear JENNY. I'm sure no nephew of _mine_ would kick his sister, except by the merest accident--so let's say no more of that. But it's no use getting 'em what they don't like; so suppose we stick to the fire-engine, and the other concern--theatre is it, JOHNNY?--Very well--and don't you get _me_ into trouble over 'em, that's all. And WINNIE would like a doll, eh?--that's all right. Now everybody's provided for--except JANE! _Jane (frostily)._ Thank you, Uncle--but you seem to forget I'm not _exactly_ a child! [_She walks out of the shop with dignity._ _Uncle._ Hullo! Put my foot in it again! But we can't leave JENNY out of it--_can_ we? Must get her a present of some sort over the way.... Here, TOMMY, my boy, you can tell me something she'd like. _Bobby (later--to_ TOMMY). What did you tell Uncle to get for JANE? _Tommy (with an unholy chuckle)._ Why, a box with one of those puff-things in it. Don't you know how we caught her powdering her nose with Mother's? And Uncle _got_ her one too! _Won't_ she be shirty just! [_They walk out in an ecstasy of anticipation, as Scene closes._ * * * * * MR. PUNCH'S Paragraphist says, "he was never good at dates," not even when served in dishes, for they're dry at the best; but, of the very newest and best kind of Date Cards, MARCUS WARD & Co. have a capital selection. Among them the _Grandfather's Clock_ makes a pretty screen, and, being a clock, is, of course, always up to the time of day. * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. The Baron's Diarist and Date Examiner makes the following exhaustive notes:--first that Mr. C. LETTS describes some of his _Pocket Diaries_ as "The Improved." There is nothing so good but what it could be better. Lett's admit this, and be satisfied with the latest edition of Letts' Annuals, which are prizes, though, until Jan. 1, blanks. _The Paradise of the North_, by DAVID LAWSON JOHNSTONE. When a gentleman chooses the North Pole as a Paradise, he must be allowed any amount of Latitude and Longitude. This explorer leaves his CHAMBERS (the Publishers of that ilk) in order to get out of the world by the coldest route.