_Emperor_ (_doubtfully_). I don't think you will find it particularly interesting. I have just jotted down my petty cash disbursements. _Empress_ (_opening book and glancing at contents_). Dear me! Why the total amounts to L15,000! I see it's put in English money. _Emperor._ Yes, it saves trouble. When I am travelling I get rather confused with all coinage save that of Mother's Fatherland. _Empress._ But surely L15,000 is a lot to expend upon extras? _Emperor._ Depends on the view you take of things. I had a lot of things to buy. _Empress._ But surely _this_ must be wrong? Shoeblack fifty guineas! _Emperor_ (_lightly_). No, I think that's all right. You see, the fellow, after he had cleaned my boots, suddenly recognised me, called me Sire, and sang the "_Wacht am Rhein_." I couldn't, after that, give him less. _Empress._ Well, you know best, dear; but I should have thought you could have got your boots cleaned for rather less! _Emperor._ Possibly; but I should have lost the story. And you know it reads so well. _Empress._ And here's another rather big item. L800 for a London cabman! _Emperor._ I consider _that_ the cheapest item in the lot. He wanted more! _Empress._ And here are several items of seventy pounds apiece. What were _they_ for? _Emperor._ Oh, nothing in particular. Little girl picked up my handkerchief, and a little boy asked me for a kite. Was obliged to give them each a bundle of tenners. It would have been so mean if I had given them less. But there, I told you you wouldn't find the book at all interesting. If you will pass it to me, I will lock it up. _Empress._ Oh, certainly, dear. (_Gives up volume._) And now, darling, I am going to ask you a favour. You never saw such a pet of a coronet as they have at Von ----'s. Now I want you to buy it for me particularly. _Emperor_ (_embarrassed_). Certainly, dear--but you know, we are not too well off. _Empress._ Oh, but it is simply charming. Rubies round the edge, and a cross of brilliants and emeralds. And, really, _so_ cheap. They only want L100,000 for it! _Emperor._ Very nice indeed; but just at this moment it would be a little inconvenient to produce so large a sum. _Empress._ Large sum! Why, the rubies alone are worth all the money. _Emperor._ Yes, I know, dear. And now I must hurry away; duty, my love, comes before pleasure. See you soon. [_Exit hurriedly, to attend a review. In the meanwhile, Coronet remains in the jeweller's shop-window. Curtain_. * * * * * [Illustration: THE FESTIVE SEASON. A SCOTCH NIGHT.] * * * * * AN EVENING FROM HOME.