_Off._ Well, now, my good woman, I will tell you what we will do with him. We will teach him to read, write, and cipher, and give him an excellent education. _App._ And you will take care of him, Sir? _Off._ Of course we will take care of him; and as for his education, we will-- _App._ Oh, Sir, so long as you looks after him, never you mind about his education! [_Exit infantless._ * * * * * TO MAUD. _A PENITENT ROUNDEL._ I called you MAUDE. I only meant to tease, But somehow, ere I ended, came to laud Your charms in my poor verses. So in these I called you MAUDE. "My name is _MAUD_." And I am overawed, Forgive the indiscretion if you please. The spirit Truth, they tell me, is abroad, And since she sojourns still across the seas, I swear I knew the final _e_ a fraud-- So that you suffered from no lack of _e_'s I called you MAUDE! * * * * * KNILL NISI BOIMUM. [Illustration: Lord Mayor Elect Knill and the Livery Goose.] The good common sense of the Common Councilman and Liverymen of the City,--Liverymen not to be led astray by any false lights,--coupled with their truly English love of fairplay, prevailed, and the City Fathers on Goose Day were prevented from following in the goose-steps of that Uncommon Councilman who, bearing the honoured names of BEAUFOY (a fine old Norman-Baron title!) and of MOORE (shade of Sir THOMAS!), made so extraordinary a display of bigotry and ignorance as, it is to be hoped, is rare, and becoming rarer every day, among our worthy JOHN GILPINS of credit and renown East of the Griffin. But in spite of this nonsensical hot-gospelling rant, Alderman and Sheriff STUART KNILL was elected Lord Mayor, while BEAUFOY MOORE was, so to speak, no MOORE, and, in fact, very much against his will and wish, was reduced to NIL. WILLY-KNILLY he had to cave in. _Mr. Punch_ congratulates the Lord Mayor Elect, but still more does he congratulate the City Fathers on rising above paltry sectarianism, so utterly unworthy of time, place, and persons, and for standing up, in true English fashion, for freedom of worship coupled with absolute Liberty of Conscience. * * * * * THE PRIDE OF THE EMPIRE. [Illustration: "A Warde with you."] [Illustration: Stock Exchange Swell (Empire Period).]