Dear Lyre, your duty now you know! If one would sing with grace and glow Songs of Society, One must not dream of fire, or length, Or vivid touch, or virile strength, Or great variety. Among the Muses of Mayfair A Bacchanal with unbound hair, And loosened girdle, Would be as purely out of place As Atalanta in a race O'er hedge or hurdle: Our Muse, dear Lyra, must be trim, Must not indulge in vagrant whim, Of voice or vesture. Boudoir decorum will allow No gleaming eye, no glowing brow, No ardent gesture. Society, which is our theme, Is like a well-conducted stream Which calmly ripples. We sing the World where no one feels Too pungently, or hates, or steals, Or loves, or tipples. And should you hint that down below The subtle siren all men know Is hiding _her_ face, Our answer is: "That may be true, But boudoir bards have nought to do Save with the surface." And therefore, though Society feel The Proletariat's heavy heel Its kibe approaching, Some luxuries yet are left to sing, The Opera-Box, the Row, the Ring, And Golf, and Coaching. Not e'en the Socialistic scare The dandyish and the debonair Has quite demolished; Whilst Privilege hath still a purse, There's yet a chance for flowing verse, And periods polished. If IBSEN, BELLAMY, and GEORGE, Raise not the boudoir critic's gorge Beyond all bearing, Light lyrics may she not endure, On social ills above her cure, Below her caring? Muse, with Society we may toy Without impassioned grief or joy, Or boisterous merriment; May sing of Sorrow with a smile; At least, it may be worth our while To try the experiment. * * * * * QUITE THE TREBLE GLOUCESTER CHEESE!--The Three Quires' Festival this week. Do the Three Quires appear in the Cathedral? If so, as each quire means twenty-four sheets, there'll he quite a "Surplice Stock." * * * * * CONTRIBUTION BY OUR OWN "MULEY HASSAN."--_Puzzle_--To find "three Single Gentlemen rolled into one?" _Answer_--Sir EUAN SMITH. _Explanation_--Sir, You, an' SMITH. [_Exit_ MULEY HASSAN _going to Bray._ * * * * * Why ought a Quack's attendance on a patient to be gratis?--Because he is No-Fee-sician. * * * * * [Illustration: "LA-BOUCHE-RE(-NARD) ET LES RAISINS."] * * * * * [Illustration: A MERE PREJUDICE. _Tourist._ "I SEE YOU EMPLOY A GOOD MANY WOMEN ABOUT HERE, FARMER." _Farmer._ "HAVE TO DO, HARVEST-TIME, SIR; BUT FOR MYSELF I MUCH PREFER MANUAL LABOUR!"] * * * * * MORE REASONS FOR STOPPING IN TOWN. _Commodore Buncombe._ Because I know those infernal Tentonners, and ---- Chartreuse jaune only makes me worse.