Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, September 10, 1892Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, September 10, 1892
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"GREAT BRITAIN AND THE GILBERT ISLANDS."--Captain DAVIS of H.M. Screw
Cruiser _Royalist_, on May 27, formally annexed "The Gilbert Islands."
Where was SULLIVAN? Or is it that Sir ARTHUR, having been annexed as a
Knight, was unable to interfere? Will D'OYLY CARTE explain?
* * * * *
THE MENAGERIE RACE.
SCENE--_The terrace in front of Hauberk Hall, which the_
LARKSPURS _have taken for the Summer_. TIME--_An August
afternoon. Miss STELLA LARKSPUR--a young lady with great
energy and a talent for organisation--has insisted upon all
the Guests taking part in a Menagerie Race._
_The Rev. Ninian Headnote, the Local Curate_ (_to Mr. PLUMLEY
DUFF--after uneasily regarding Miss STELLA, as she shakes up some
pieces of folded paper in a hat_). Can you give me any idea of the
precise nature of this amusement--er--nothing resembling a gambling
transaction, I suppose?--or I really--
_Mr. Plumley Duff_. Well, I'm given to understand that we shall each
be expected to take an animal of some sort, and drive it along with a
string tied to its leg. Sounds childish--to _me_.
_The Curate_ (_relieved_). Oh, exactly, I see. Most entertaining,
I'm sure! (_He coos._) What wonderful ingenuity one sees in devising
ever-fresh pastimes, do we not? Indeed, yes!
_Miss Stella_. There, I've shuffled all the animals now. (_Presenting
the hat_.) Mr. HEADNOTE, will you draw first?
_The Curate_. Oh, really. Am I to take one of these? Charmed! (_He
draws._) Now I wonder what my fate--(_Opening the paper_.) The Monkey!
(_His face falls._) _Is_ there a Monkey here? _Dear_ me, how _very_
interesting!
_Dick Gatling_ (_of H.M. Gunboat "Weasel"_). Brought him over my
last cruise from Colombo. No end of a jolly little beast--bites like
the--like _blazes_, you know!
_Miss Stella_ (_to her Cousin_). Now, DICK, I won't have you taking
away poor Jacko's character like that. He's only bitten BINNS--and,
well, there _was_ the gardener's boy--but I'm sure he _teased_ him.
_You_ won't tease him, will you, Mr. HEADNOTE?
_The Curate_. I--I shouldn't dream of it, Miss STELLA,--on the
contrary, I--(_To himself._) Was it quite discreet to let myself
be drawn into this? Shall I not risk lowering my office by publicly
associating myself with a--a Monkey? I feel certain the Vicar would
disapprove strongly.
_Dick_ (_to Colonel KEMPTON_). Drawn _your_ animal yet, Sir?
_The Colonel_ (_heatedly_). Yes, I have--and I wish I'd kept out of
this infernal tomfoolery. Why the mischief don't they leave a man in
peace and quietness on a hot afternoon like this? Here am I, routed
out of a comfortable seat to go and drive a confounded White Rabbit,
Sir! Idiotic, _I_ call it!
_The Curate_. Pardon me, Colonel KEMPTON; but if you object to the
Rabbit, I would not at all mind undertaking it myself--and you could
take my Monkey--
_The Colonel_. Thanks--but I won't deprive you. A Rabbit is quite
responsibility enough for me!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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