_Mrs. T._ Oh, dear me, JANE! I wish you wouldn't come and startle me with your horrid telegrams--there, give it to me. (_Reading._) "Wife down, violent influenza. Must come without her, TOOMER." (_Resentfully._) Again! and I _know_ she's had it twice since the spring--it's too tiresomely inconsid--no, it isn't--it's the very best thing she could do. Now we shall be only twelve, and I needn't order that man from BLANKLEY'S, after all. Poor dear woman, I must really write her a nice sympathetic little note--so _fortunate_! SCENE II.--Mrs. TIDMARSH'S _Bedroom--Time 7:15._ Mrs. T. _has just had her hair dressed by her Maid_. _Mrs. T._ You might have given me more of a fringe than that, PINNIFER. You don't make nearly so much of my hair as you used to! (PINNIFER _discreetly suppress the obvious retort_.) Well, I suppose that must do. I shan't require you any more. Go down and see if the lamps in the drawing-room are smelling. (PINNIFER _goes; sounds of ablutions are heard from_ Mr. T.'s _dressing-room_.) MONTAGUE, is that you? I never heard you come in. _Mr. T.'s Voice_ (_indistinctly._) Only just this moment come up, my dear. Been putting out the wine. _Mrs. T._ You always _will_ leave everything to the last. No, don't come in. What? How can I hear what you say when you keep on splashing and spluttering like that? _Mr. T.'s Voice_ (_from beneath a towel._) That dozen of Champagne Uncle GABRIEL sent has run lower than I thought--only two bottles and a pint left. And he can't drink that _Saumur_. _Mrs. T._ Two bottles and a half ought to be ample, if SEAKALE manages properly--among twelve. _Mr. T.'s V._ Twelve, my love? you mean _fourteen_! _Mrs. T._ I mean nothing of the sort. Mrs. TOOMER'S got influenza again--luckily, so of course we shall be just twelve. _Mr. T.'s V._ MARIA, why didn't you tell me that before? Because I say, look here!---- [_He half opens the door._ _Mrs. T._ I won't have you coming in here all over soap, there's nothing to get excited about. Twelve's a very convenient number. _Mr. T.'s V._ Twelve! Yes--but how about that fellow you told me to order from BLANKLEY'S? He'll be the thirteenth! _Mrs. T._ MONTAGUE, _don't_ say you went and ordered him, after I expressly said you were not to mind, and that I would see about it myself! You heard me call after you from the front door? _Mr. T.'s V._ I--I understood you to say that I was to mind and see to it myself; and so I went there the very first thing. The Manager assured me he would send us a person accustomed to the best society, who would give every satisfaction. _I_ couldn't be expected to know you had changed your mind! _Mrs. T._ How _could_ you be so idiotic! We simply can't sit down thirteen. Uncle will think we did it on purpose to shorten his life, MONTAGUE, do something--write, and put him off, quick--do you hear? _Mr. T.'s V._ (_plaintively_). My love, I _can't_ write while I'm like this--and I've no pen and ink in here, either!