_A. M._ No, we haven't done anything quite on the same scale lately, I admit that. But we've done our best with worthless mines, and bogus Companies of all kinds, and financial papers, and Building Societies. Seems to me we've no right to chuck stones at poor old LESSEPS. _Inquirer._ Is that the same old chap who did something in Egypt some years ago? _Second W. I. M._ (_smiling, and superior_). Yes, the very same. He made the Suez Canal. _Inquirer._ Of course--so he did. That was what we went to the Soudan for, wasn't it? _Second W. I. M._ (_dubiously_). Well, it had something to do with it, of course. As we'd got four million pounds' worth of shares in the Canal, we couldn't afford to see it upset. And then (_brightening_) there was the Dual Control. That was really at the bottom of the whole business. _Inquirer._ The Dual Control? I don't remember what that was. _Second W. I. M._ Why, don't you remember ARABI setting himself up against the KHEDIVE? Well, naturally, we couldn't stand the two of them playing their games there; so we just had to nip in, and smash old ARABI. _Inquirer._ Of course, I remember the whole business now; Khartoum, and the MAHDI, and all the rest of it. [_A pause._ _Inquirer_ (_returning to the charge_). I wonder why they called it the Panama Canal? _First W. I. M._ Why shouldn't they? It happens to be its name. _Inquirer._ Yes, I know that's its name now. But why call it after a straw hat? _First W. I. M._ (_amazed_). After a _what_? _Inquirer._ After a straw hat. _First W. I. M._ (_calmly, but firmly_). It isn't called after a straw hat. The straw hat's called after it. That's all. _Inquirer_ (_dogged, and unconvinced_). Well, anyhow, I know I bought a Panama hat last summer--and deuced expensive it was, too. _First W. I. M._ My dear boy, it was made in Panama. Panama's a place. _Inquirer._ Well, I'm dashed! I never knew that. But what on earth do they want a Canal there for? _First W. I. M._ Oh, well, I'm bound to admit it would be a convenience. Just think how it would shorten the sea-route. Instead of having to go all the way round Cape What's-his-name--what _is_ that blessed Cape's name? _Second W. I. M._ (_tentatively_). Cape of Good Hope? _First W. I. M._ No, no--they're building the Nicaragua Canal for that. Cape--Cape--why, dash it, I shall be forgetting my own name next! _Inquirer_ (_brilliantly_). Capricorn. _First W. I. M._ Yes, that's it! Well, instead of having to go all round Cape Ricorn, all we've got to do is to sail to Panama, and--(_impotently concluding_)--there we are! _Second W. I. M._ Ah, but I don't think they'll ever finish it. _First W. I. M._ I'm not so sure about that; but, of course, the French couldn't do it. _Second W. I. M._ Of course not. [_Terminus._ * * * * * Illustration: "CREDE EXPERTO." _Q.C._ "YES; I LIKE THE ARMY AS A PROFESSION. I MEAN TO PUT MY SON INTO IT."