"'BEN' TROVATO."--Odd that the French author of such truly Parisian stories as _Coeur d'Actrice_, _L'Amour pour Rire_, _Flirtage_, and others _du meme genre_, should be named "TILLET." There is a "du" before the French author's name, and it is of course proverbial that even a certain person in the Lower House shall have his "due." 'Tis just this, that, as far as name goes, differentiates him from t'other TILLET, "which his Christian name is BEN." * * * * * Further Fall in Irish Stocks. (_Vide Daily Papers, Feb. 24, 1893._) Though mongers of panic, with malice satanic, The credit of Ireland be troublin', Home Rule cannot shake her, nor severance break her, So long as her _capital's D(o)ublin_.' * * * * * WEATHER FORECAST BY MRS. R.--"After this cold snowy weather," she observed, oracularly, "we may expect what they call 'equally obnoxious gales.'" * * * * * [Illustration: HISTORY CONTRADICTS ITSELF. THE MISSES ROUNDABOUT THINK TIGHT SKIRTS A PREPOSTEROUS AND EXTRAVAGANT INVENTION, AND APPEAR AT MRS. WEASEL'S PARTY IN A SIMPLE AND ELEGANT ATTIRE. [_Vide "Punch" for Nov. 21, 1857._] * * * * * PUTTING IT PLEASANTLY. [Mr. FOWLER announced the Government's willingness to appoint "a small Commission" to consider how the City could be amalgamated with the rest of London.] "Dilly, Dilly, come and be killed!" Cried good _Mrs. Bond_ to the ducks, in the story. Conceive with what rapture the victims were thrilled, And then picture the joy of our Turtle friends, filled With sweet premonitions of glory! No little testudinate triflers are these, Unmindful of doom unforbodingly playing. The cook's charming manners are likely to please, But the flash of that knife Snapping Turtles might freeze, 'Tis so strangely suggestive of--slaying. The civic Brer Terrapin certainly seems Extremely content with its time-honoured station. Our "young men" may dream highly optimist dreams, But Turtledom feareth what Turtledom deems The perils of--Unification! "No compulsion, of course, only, darlings, you must!" That's their reading _au fond_ of the C. C. Cook's attitude. "'Amalgamate' Us? Doosed cool, most unjust! Your offer inspires us with dismal distrust, Your 'Commission' won't move us to gratitude. "We love the traditions of Old London Town, We Turtles. Pray leave us alone, and don't bother! Amalgamate? Nay, on the notion we frown! Like the lion and lamb we'll together lie down---- When the one is safe inside the other!" Alack and alas! But the new _Mrs. Bond_ Means mischief, we fear, with her kind "Dilly, Dilly!" And well may the Turtles droop fins and despond. When the snug isolation of which they're so fond, They must part with at last, willy-nilly! * * * * *