_Third P._ Not that the plot matters much nowadays. All dialogue, don't you know? Smart hits at somebody, and all that sort of thing. _Fourth P._ Quite. Really better fun than the other sort of thing. Much better fun to have to listen to epigrams and all that sort of thing, than to have to follow something or other with interest. _Second P._ Quite. In fact, nowadays, you can come in when you like, and listen to what you like. _Third P._ Yes, much better plan, than having to take it all in. Think it a first-rate idea to allow talking all through, instead of keeping that sort of thing until between the Acts. _Second P._ Quite. Between the Acts a fellow wants to smoke. Much jollier to talk when the other fellows are talking too. Divide the labour with them--half the conversation on one side the Curtain, half on the other. _Fourth P._ Capital idea, and much less fatiguing than the old style. Fancy having to take it all in! Why, ten years ago, one had to get up a play as if one had to pass an examination in it next morning! Awful bosh! _Second P._ Quite. No, it's much jollier to chat. Is there anyone in the house you know? _First P._ Only that Johnnie over there! The fellow in the dinner-jacket, who's gone to sleep. He's rather a sportsman. (_Applause._) Hallo! What's that row about? _Third P._ End of the First Act. I say, you fellows, I don't think there's much in the piece, so far. _Fourth P._ I am blest if I know what it's all about. _First P._ More do I. _Second P._ And I. Why should we stay any longer? Seems awful rot. _Fourth P._ Quite. Let's go to a Music-Hall, where we can smoke and chat. _First P._ Quite. [_Exeunt the party, to the great relief of the remainder of the Audience._ _Curtain._ * * * * * [Illustration: PESSIMISM v. OPTIMISM. (_From the City._) "YOU'RE GETTING QUITE A CORPORATION, BROWN!" "YES; THE RESULT OF A _CONTENTED MIND_, OLD MAN!" "NO. YOU MEAN THE RESULT OF A _CONTINUAL FEAST_!"] * * * * * AN OMISSION IN LAST WEEK'S CEREMONIAL ACCOUNTED FOR.--It was first proposed to make a _détour_ from Piccadilly by way of Park Lane, Stanhope Street, and so forth, round again to Piccadilly. But as H. R. H. the Duke of YORK pointed out, there was no necessity for specially visiting May Fair, as from start to finish he took MAY Fair with him. * * * * * PUNCH'S "GOD-SPEED" TO THE POLE-SEEKERS. [Dr. FRIDTJOF NANSEN'S Arctic Expedition sailed from Christiania in the _Fram_ on June 24.]