_Q._ What does a long trial mean to the defendant? _A._ Solicitor's fees by the score and "refreshers" by the dozen. _Q._ What is the outcome of the proceedings? _A._ After many days, a verdict. _Q._ In whose favour? _A._ The defendant's. _Q._ Does the defendant benefit in consequence? _A._ Not at all--the reverse. For after the finding of the jury, he is at liberty to pay his own costs. _Q._ Why does he pay his own costs? _A._ Because his statement that the plaintiff is and was a man of straw is practically corroborated. _Q._ But does not the _exposé_ prove that he has done an action well-deserving of his country? _A._ Certainly; but this consideration does not give him unmixed satisfaction. _Q._ Why does it not give him unmixed satisfaction? _A._ Because, although losing a huge sum of money may be patriotic and large-minded, it is scarcely business-like. _Q._ Are not newspapers intended to benefit the public? _A._ Unquestionably, but in that public the individuality of the proprietor should not be entirely overlooked. _Q._ Then what would you recommend? _A._ That instead of being regarded as prey, newspapers should be made to pay. _Q._ And how can that be carried out? _A._ By making a law calling upon a would-be plaintiff, in a questionable action for libel, to give security for costs. * * * * * [Illustration: A DELICATE SNUB. _Sir Pompey Bedell._ "OH--ER--MOSSOO LE BARRONG, ESKER-VOO--ER--ESKER-VOO SAVVY--ER--ESKER-VOO SAVVY KER VOOS AVAY LE--LA--ER--ER----" _Monsieur le Baron._ "Do not Sir Pompey, do _not_ continue to speak French! You speak it so well--ah! But _so_ well--zat you make me feel quite _'Ome-sick!_"] * * * * * O WISE YOUNG JUDGE!--Mr. Justice HAWKINS has scored over and over again during the first act of the ZIERENBERG _v._ LABOUCHERE trial. One witness in cross-examination said "he thought he could tell people who were overworked." So Mr. Justice HAWKINS asked him, "Do you see anybody in this court who looks like being overworked?" Of course the witness looked straight at the Judge, but Sir HENRY was ready with a very practical answer to his own question, as he instantly rose to the occasion and adjourned the case till next day, and from next day till next term. * * * * * AT THE T. R. H.--Mr. TREE substituted IBSEN for WILDE. Some evenings at the T. R. Haymarket may be pleasantly passed, _i.e._, _"Wilde" away_. * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.