Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 105, July 29th 1893Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 105, July 29th 1893
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_House of Commons, Monday, July 17._--"_Et tu, Bowlsey!_" said
GRANDOLPH, a tear glistening on his long eyelashes. Of course he
should have said "_Brute_," but that is not Member for King's Lynn's
name. Remark followed upon incident that ruffled unusually dull
evening. TOMMY was making one of his rare speeches; instructing Chief
Secretary on intricate point in Home-Rule Bill; complaining of an
omission in Amendment under discussion. GRANDOLPH, turning round,
explained to him the bearing of things. Audacious, it is true. "The
attempt," as JEMMY LOWTHER said, "to instruct your grandmother in
the art of imbibing light but nutritious refreshment a slight thing
compared with the temerity of teaching Tommy anything." When he
detected GRANDOLPH in attempt, he for moment fixed him with surprised
stare. Enough in ordinary circumstances to paralyse a rhinoceros.
GRANDOLPH, who from precarious retreat in a tree-top in Central Africa
has watched the noon slumbers of a horde of thirty lions, did not
flinch. Then through the startled House rang TOMMY'S withering rebuke:
"Pray hold your tongue!" an injunction which drew from GRANDOLPH the
pained remark quoted above.
Coming from such a source it was doubly painful. Always understood
that TOMMY founded his Parliamentary style upon GRANDOLPH'S earlier
manner. Whispered that Member for King's Lynn had dreamed a dream of
a new Fourth Party. He of course would play the part of GRANDOLPH;
HANBURY (selected chiefly on account of his height and slimness of
his figure) would stand for Arthur Balfour before he came into his
Princedom. The glories of Gorst would live again in BARTLEY; and TOMMY
had spent sleepless night in doubt as to whether he should enlist
PARKER SMITH or AMBROSE in place of WOLFFY, who now, in distant
Madrid, wears a sombrero, drapes his _svelte_ figure in a cloak, and
interlards his conversation with cries of "_Carramba!_"
This point was decided by curious incident. One afternoon TOMMY came
upon PARKER SMITH conversing with TOMLINSON.
"Don't you think PARKER SMITH'S getting something of a bore?" TOMMY
asked, when that eminent statesman moved away.
[Illustration: "ANGELS IN 'THE HOUSE.'"]
"Now that's very odd indeed," said TOMLINSON. "Just as you came up
PARKER SMITH said to me 'Here comes TOMMY BOWLES; good fellow; means
well; but don't you think he's making himself something of a bore?'"
So PARKER SMITH lost his chance, and perhaps will never know how or
why. Thinking of these things 'tis quaint to find TOMMY turning and
biting the hand which, so to speak, held for him the Parliamentary
bottle. "_Et tu, Bowlsey!_" GRANDOLPH sighed again, thinking of the
days that are no more. "But I ought to have remembered that he who
plays at BOWLES must expect rubbers."
_Business done._--TOMMY declines to make room for his Uncle GRANDOLPH;
even rudely repulses avuncular advances.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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