There once was a Government good-- (All Governments are, so they tell us!)-- Who found themselves deep "in the wood," And a little bit blown in the "bellows." Their foes, who were many and mean, Persistently hunted and harried 'em. Their time they to spend meant On bogus "Amendment;" They moved such by hundreds--and _all_ to befriend meant-- Jawed round 'em, and--now and then--carried 'em! Singing fol-de-rol-lol-de-rol-lol! That Government upped and it said-- "We seem to be getting no forrader. It's time to go 'full steam ahead!' _Bella horrida_ couldn't be horrider, So let's declare 'war to the knife!' Dr. GUILLOTIN'S knife, sharp and summary, We _must_ put a stopper On Unionist 'whopper,' Or else the best Government must come a cropper Along of their falsehood and flummery!" Singing fol-de-rol-lol-de-rol-lol! "Doctor GUILLOTIN claimed that his blade Was 'a punishment sure, quick, and uniform,' So when sham 'Amendment' has laid On the table its paltry and puny form, We'll just give it time to turn round, And if it's prolix or cantankerous, To the block be it led And then--off with its head!"-- Well, for summary shrift there _is_ much to be said, When the criminal's rowdy and rancorous. Singing fol-de-rol-lol-de-rol-lol! * * * * * SUB JUDICE. (_An entirely Imaginary Report of an utterly Impossible Case._) THE MUSTARD MYSTERY. 120TH DAY. To-day the prisoner in this matter was once again brought before the magistrates on the charge already stated. The same counsel were present for the prosecution and the defence that had put in an appearance yesterday. The court was densely crowded. BENJAMIN BROWN deposed that he had often slammed a door. He knew the sound of the slamming of a door, and thought he could distinguish it from the noise of an earthquake. On cross examination he admitted that he had not slammed a door, and had never been present at an earthquake. On re-examination he said that although he had not been present at an earthquake he was conversant with its characteristics. JOHN JONES deposed that he had once seen a man who might have been the prisoner. It was sixteen years ago. The man to whom he referred was talking to a female. On cross-examination he admitted that, so far as he knew to the contrary, the man may have been addressing his grandmother. On re-examination he did not know that the female was a grandmother--she might have been a grand aunt.