_Question._ Is it good for the health to keep awake? _Answer._ Certainly not; as sleep is most necessary to the body's repose. _Q._ Then should one go to sleep? _A._ No; for it must in the end be injurious to the mind. _Q._ Is walking a good thing? _A._ Certainly not; as it may lead to cramp. _Q._ Is resting to be recommended? _A._ Oh no; for exercise is absolutely a necessity. _Q._ Is riding permissible? _A._ Not when the wood pavement produces the new sore throat. _Q._ Should we eat? _A._ No; for everything is adulterated. _Q._ Should we drink? _A._ No; liquor is injurious. _Q._ Should we starve? _A._ No; meals are really needful. _Q._ Is it safe to stay at home? _A._ No; because change of air is most beneficial to everyone. _Q._ Is it advisable to go abroad? _A._ Not at all; many epidemics are reported to be rife everywhere on the other side of the channel. _Q._ Is it good to live? _A._ Scarcely; because illness is worse than death. _Q._ Is it good to die? _A._ Probably; everything else is a failure, so no doubt this, too, is a grand mistake. * * * * * [Illustration: TO CRICKETERS. "OUT! FIRST BALL! A CATCH!!"] * * * * * UNDER THE ROOSE. RONDEL BY A RESTORED ONE. (_Some way after a Swinburnian Model._) Under the ROOSE! Decay seemed slow but sure, The golden chord Mors, lingering, aimed to loose; But kindness, care, and skill work wondrous cure, Under the ROOSE! The patient probably had played the goose, Liverish, listless, yielding to the lure Of overstrain, caught in neglect's sly noose. But symptoms pass if patience but endure, And ROBSON'S regimen brooks no excuse. Nerves get re-strung, the brisk blood pulses pure, Under the ROOSE! * * * * * OLD PROVERB VERIFIED.--"Miss VERNE, whose renown as a pianist is rapidly increasing, has hitherto been known to concert-goers as Miss MATHILDE WURM." So at last "the WURM has turned," and become Miss VERNE! * * * * * WHAT OUR EVENING PAPERS ARE COMING TO (_suggested by the newest thing in Pink and Green_).--Penny plain, and halfpenny coloured! * * * * * [Illustration: 1893; OR, THE GOVERNMENT GUILLOTINE.] * * * * * ["Here comes a light to light us to bed, And a chopper to cut off the last--last--last Amendment's head!" _Old Nursery Rhyme "amended."_]