_She._ But if, theoretically, everything is right, why should most things be practically wrong? _He._ You must really ask me another. _She._ But you are strong upon health, are you not? _He._ Very--in the lecture-room. And now, if you are rested, we will have another turn. [_Exeunt dancing._ * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. _House of Commons, Monday, July 30._--Having settled Budget Bill, and, incidentally, brought CHANCELLOR OF EXCHEQUER to Death's Door by observations on Death Duties, TOMMY BOWLES has time to turn his attention to another social question. Looks as if he were going to take the Bicycle Fiend by the scruff of the neck. Herein he has opportunity of deepening and enlarging his hold on affection and esteem of British public. Bicycle Fiend has increased, is increasing, and, at least, ought to be registered. He comes upon the hapless rider or pedestrian in quiet country lanes, brushing him aside as if the earth were the Fiend's and all the highways thereof. Bad enough in the country, where there is room to get out of the way. In crowded streets of metropolis, Fiend pounces round unsuspected corners upon elderly gentlemen, scattering streams of peaceful passengers at peremptory sound of fearsome bell. TOMMY B. got his eye on him. Not without suspicion that this new departure has something to do with old, now closed, campaign against the Budget. TOMMY warned the SQUIRE whilst in Committee that his Death Duties would not reap the full harvest anticipated. Every little helps. What with actual concussions and sudden frights, Bicycle Fiend leads in course of financial year to considerable succession of property changing on sudden death, with concurrent toll paid to Treasury. If the Bicycle Fiend can only be placed on same footing as the common carrier, or the harried hansom-cab driver, the death-rate would appreciably decrease, and with it the flow of legacy and succession duties. TOMMY may or may not look thus far ahead. No matter, if he only succeeds in restraining a nuisance that is a disgrace to a civilised community.