I feel that I have stayed too late, And yet I can't move on. I'm utterly inadequate, Because my head is gone. I wish I were I don't know what, I wish that I were dead. _I don't know if I am or not_, For I have lost my head! * * * * * INS AND OUTS. "Cricket was a far superior game to golf or tennis," said Lord KNUTSFORD to the members of the Victoria Park Cricket Association; and he went on to tell a story of the first introduction of cricket to Tonga, one of the Pacific Islands. Everybody took up the game so heartily that State affairs were allowed to slide altogether, and at last the King of TONGA had to lay down rules as to the times when the game might be indulged in. "Even then the Prime Minister was with difficulty prevented from bowling during forbidden hours." For Tonga read Westminster--where a good deal of _tongue_--ah!--goes on--and we get a result something like this:-- "After the usual luncheon interval, the Leader of the Opposition and the ex-Umpire-General faced the delivery of the First Commissioner of Stumps and the Scorin' Secretary. The punishment inflicted by the former on the bowling led to a Cabinet crisis, ending in the Secretary of State resigning his office and the leather to the Lord High Wicket-keep. The result of this change was soon apparent, for the Leader of the Opposition was clean bowled by a quotation from _Hansard_, and his place was taken by a prominent member from below the Opposition Gangway. "As the score still mounted, the Ministry decided to apply the Closure to the game, an effort which was resisted by the whole force of the Opposition, armed with pads and wickets. During the all-night innings which ensued the Prime Minister retired hurt, and the Ministry were finally driven into the Pavilion, where they expressed a decided intention, in consequence of the underhand bowling of their opponents, of at once appealing to the country. The Committee of Lords' has placed its veto on these disorderly proceedings, and 'Down with the Lords' is likely to be the Ministerial rallying-cry during the forthcoming Election." * * * * * A LITERARY DISCOVERY.--It has been hitherto thought that only two "G. O. M.'s" existed, the one, _par excellence_, being _The_ G. O. M., and the other, the Right Hon. G. O. MORGAN. But there _is_ a third, and he is GE-O M(EREDITH). No more at present. * * * * * TITLE FOR A TEMPERANCE TALE.--Under the Red Nose! * * * * * THE DAY OF SMALL THINGS.