Solicitors: Messrs. KOKO & CO. Jester: Mr. JACK POINT. Jailor and Chucker-out: Mr. WILL SHADBOLT. OBJECTS OF THE SOCIETY. (1.) To develop the new calling of Professional Interviewee. (2.) To provide the newspaper-reading public with amusement. (3.) To supply eminent humorists and others with enjoyable, rational, and profitable employment. (4.) And, incidentally, to encourage retiring and diffident lady interviewers. RULES. 1. That all persons shall be eligible for membership of the Society, with the following exceptions:--Infants in arms; Their Descendants and other Relatives within the Prohibited Degrees; Parties who are balmy on the Crumpet,; H. M.'s guests at Portland, Newgate, and Broadmoor; JABEZ; Persons who have written a book; Persons who haven't; Mrs. PROWLINA PRY; also all the pragmatic and prudish nonentities who have pranced in prurient print over the unsavoury question lately discussed _ad nauseam_ in the columns of the _D. T._ 2. That if the interview be conducted by one of the male sex, the Society's chucker-out, jester, and solicitors shall always be present. 3. That the following scale of fees, payable by the Interviewer to the Interviewee, be adopted:-- £ _s. d._ Mere Nobody 0 0 2 Nobody Else 0 2 6 Mr. WH-STL-R, over a recent Grievance 0 6 8 Minister, of Cabinet Rank 1 1 0 Gaiety Girl, of the Front Rank 1 1 1 Cabman, of any Rank 1 1 2 Mr. ARTHUR ROBERTS, on Things in General 2 2 0 Ditto, on the Empire Question 3 3 0 Any leading Burglar, Pickpocket, or Company Promoter, with discount for cash 4 4 0 Pugilist, including services of Policeman and Surgeon 5 5 0 G. O. M., if you can get at him 10 10 0 Eminent Humorist, when irritated 21 0 0 Ditto, if a Lady, and pretty (these are scarce) 50 0 0 Anybody who hasn't yet been Interviewed (these are scarcer) 100 0 0 4. That the Society be immediately dissolved, in view of pending litigation. Transcriber's Note: Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation are as in the original. End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, November 3, 1894, by Various