Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, November 3, 1894Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, November 3, 1894
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
AN ECCLESIASTICAL HIBERNIAN-IBERIAN MEDDLE AND MUDDLE.--Lord HALIFAX
writes to the Cardinal Archbishop of TOLEDO to protest against the
appointment of an Anglo-Iberian bishop to Spain made by the Archbishop
of DUBLIN & CO.; and his English Eminence Cardinal VAUGHAN writes to
Spanish Eminence to protest against the protest of Lord HALIFAX. Of
which the sum is that all the parties to the case are evidently, for the
time being, Protestants!
* * * * *
ORIGIN OF THE BLUSH-ROSE.
I asked the Queen of Flowers
Why the blush-rose blushed so red,
Through the sun-rays and the showers,
And so bowed its modest head.
And fair Flora whispered "Hush!
It would hurt the rose to hear!--
The beginning of that blush
Was not love, or shame, or fear.
All the pretty faëry fancies
That you find in poet's song,
And encounter in romances,
Are entirely false and wrong.
That flush so fair and fleeting
Means not passion, pride or pity;
But hot memories of the meeting
Of a Vigilance Committee!"
* * * * *
Mrs. CHANT-I-CLEAR THE MUSIC HALLS.--So the verdict of the L.C.C. was
against the Empire. This, of course, does not prove that the Members of
the Council are amenable to _Chantage_. On this occasion Mrs. CHANT made
them sing to her tune. But the tune will not be popular.
* * * * *
A CRUEL POET.--Father Time is the offender when he begins to write lines
on your face.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "ADVICE GRATIS."
_Betsy Trotwood (Mrs. London City) to Mr. Dick (Mr. H-w-s)._ "NOW HERE
YOU SEE SIR CHRISTOPHER WREN'S CHILD, AND THE QUESTION I PUT TO YOU IS,
_WHAT SHALL I DO WITH HIM?_ COME, I WANT SOME VERY SOUND ADVICE."
THE CONTEMPLATION OF OLD ST. PAUL'S SEEMED TO INSPIRE HIM WITH A SUDDEN
IDEA, AND HE REPLIED BRISKLY, "I SHOULD WASH HIM!"
"MR. H-W-S," SAID MRS. LONDON CITY, "SETS US ALL RIGHT. WE'LL FILL THE
FIRE-ENGINE WITH SOAP-AND-WATER!"--_"David Copperfield," adapted._]
* * * * *
A HOPELESS QUEST.
My mind a perfect blank I've made,
Upon a disc I've fixed my eyes.
I hoped, by mesmerism's aid,
To probe stupendous mysteries.
Hour after hour in solitude
I thus have spent, but, to be frank,
There was no magic trance ensued,
My mind remained a perfect blank.
To _séances_ if I repair,
"A hostile influence" they detect.
The spirits, of my presence ware,
Their customary rites neglect.
A few faint raps, and they have flown,
With all their perfumes, notes, and flowers.
The mediums on my entrance frown--
I am not blest with occult powers!
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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