Why should you not credit my assertion that I only procured a circular ticket because I wanted to see foreign parts and taste foreign cookery? Why, after all this worry and anxiety, should you mumble something about "misapprehension," and bundle me out without an apology? * * * * * THE RUNNER NUISANCE.--"T. L.," writing to _The Times_ about the nuisance of "cab-runners" in the London streets, says, "_a stream that cannot be dammed can be turned_." But this stream of "cab-runners" _is_ being daily and hourly so treated, of course only by _male_ occupants of cabs carrying luggage, and the runners take nothing but "_damnum et injuriam_" for their pains. But when the travellers with _impedimenta_ are ladies or ladies' maids, and nurses with children, then evidently this objectionable stream cannot be "dammed" unless the butler or a stalwart footman be at home to receive _Mesdames les voyageuses_. In these cases, EVE travelling ought to have ADAM handy. * * * * * [Illustration: WHAT BROWN HAS TO PUT UP WITH. _The Throat Doctor._ "AND DOES YOUR LITTLE BOY EVER _SNORE_, MRS. BROWN?" _Mrs. Brown._ "I DON'T _THINK_ SO. HE ALWAYS SLEEPS IN OUR ROOM, AND WE'VE NEVER NOTICED IT!" _Little Brown._ "_MAMMY_ SNORES--IF YOU _LIKE_!"] * * * * * WIGS ON THE GREEN; OR, THE FRIENDS OF UNITED IRELAND. AIR--"_Enniscorthy._" You may travel over Europe till your heart and foot-soles ache, You may meet wid many a warrior, but don't make a mistake, The wondher of the wurruld, and of pathriots wide-awake, Is the Parthy that is "led" by poor MCCARTHY. The way they "pull together" fills a man wid shame and dread; They're all in love wid Erin swate--or lasteways so 'tis said-- And the way each proves his passion is by breaking 'tother's head, 'Tis that that plays the mischief wid MCCARTHY. _Chorus._ For DILLON goes for HEALY'S chump, And at O'BRIEN aims a thump, And REDMOND hits all round with anger hearthy; And the sticks they all go whacking, And the skulls, faith, they are cracking. When JUSTIN tries to lead the Oirish Parthy! When they got "a little cheque" or two a desperate row arose, TIM HEALY dashed at "Honest JOHN" and fought him to a close, And REDMOND showed designs upon O'BRIEN'S classic nose, It was that which riz the dander of MCCARTHY. They hustled round poor Erin so they nearly knocked her down, She barely dodged a cudgel that was aimed at DILLON'S crown, "And och!" she sighed, "if this is _love_ a colleen well may frown On the wooing of a crack-brained Oirish Parthy." _Chorus._--For DILLON went for HEALY'S chump, &c.