_Algy_ (_eating cucumber-sandwiches_). Do you know, Aunt AUGUSTA, I am afraid I shall not be able to come to your dinner to-night, after all. My friend BUNBURY has had a relapse, and my place is by his side. _Aunt Augusta_ (_drinking tea_). Really, ALGY! It will put my table out dreadfully. And who will arrange my music? _Dorian._ _I_ will arrange your music, Aunt AUGUSTA. I know all about music. I have an extraordinary collection of musical instruments. I give curious concerts every Wednesday in a long latticed room, where wild gipsies tear mad music from little zithers, and I have brown Algerians who beat monotonously upon copper drums. Besides, I have set myself to music. And it has not marred me. I am still the same. More so, if anything. _Cicely._ Shall you _like_ dining at WILLIS'S with Mr. DORIAN to-night, Cousin ALGY? _Algy_ (_evasively_). It's much nicer being here with you, Cousin CICELY. _Aunt Augusta._ Sweet child! I see distinct social probabilities in her profile. Mr. DORIAN has a beautiful nature. And it is _such_ a blessing to think that he was not brought up in a handbag, like so many young men of the present day. _Algy._ It is such a blessing, Aunt AUGUSTA, that a woman always grows exactly like her aunt. It is such a curse that a man never grows exactly like his uncle. It is the greatest tragedy of modern life. _Dorian._ To be really modern one should have no soul. To be really mediæval one should have no cigarettes. To be really Greek---- [_The_ Duke of BERWICK _rises in a marked manner, and leaves the garden_. _Cicely_ (_writes in her diary, and then reads aloud dreamily_). "The Duke of BERWICK rose in a marked manner, and left the garden. The weather continues charming." ... * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. _House of Commons, Monday, February 18._--Debate on Address finished, at last. Been on the whole dreary business. Instead of sharp roar of honest artillery from Opposition camp at opening of campaign, series of squibs popped off; some of them damp. Novel idea at commencement of new Session for Opposition chiefs to lurk in the wood armed with blunderbusses, watching efforts of lesser villains to waylay and murder Ministers, they coming on scene when these efforts been repulsed. Novel, but on whole not so successful that we are likely to see repetition. Odd thing is that in series of divisions Government had nearest squeak on motion for the Closure. S. WOODS had amendment on paper; wanted to have debate adjourned so that another day might be appropriated for his use; SQUIRE OF MALWOOD thought really been enough talk round Address. Moved closure. WOODS and two or three other good Radicals go into Lobby against Ministers; others abstain; Opposition seeing opportunity flock into Lobby; Ministry saved by eight votes.