Next, you want your foreign commerce restored. I cannot do that. It is a misfortune of war that if your enemy has a bigger fleet he can wipe away your foreign trade. If your Majesty did not wish it to be so it would have been better not to go to war. I presume your Majesty couldn't wait, lest the Russians should construct strategic railways and the French provide themselves with boots (which I understand they have now procured in great quantities), but there it is; and after all we might not have been better off for waiting, since these English rascals showed a most bloodthirsty determination always to have a bigger Fleet than ours, no matter what we did. And so our poor commerce must have disappeared in any case. For an Empire like ours that is, I am informed, a great misfortune, though, for my own part, it has not hitherto affected me. On the other hand the scattering of ships like the _Emden_ and VON SPEE'S squadron, in order to destroy the enemy's commerce has only led to one conclusion, and that has been the bottom of the sea. All this is vexing, but it must be endured, and an occasional success with a submarine, though agreeable at the moment, does not substantially alter it. Finally, as to the Russian Fleet, how, I ask, can we be expected to gain a victory over ships which hide themselves away in the Baltic in so mean a manner, and show no desire for the delight of battle? They have no consciousness of the fact that war-ships were intended for warfare. Your Majesty is good enough to impute blame to me. Some part of this, I do not doubt, belongs to me. The rest, as is right, I will pass on to poor old INGENOHL and to Prince HENRY, and shall ask them to guess whence it originally came. I am Your Majesty's most humble VON TIRPITZ. * * * * * [Illustration: THE BREAKING OF THE SPELL. STEINBACH, JANUARY 3, 1915.] * * * * * [Illustration: STUDY OF A LADY WHO, DURING A ZEPPELIN SCARE, HAS FLED TO THE CELLAR AND THINKS THAT, AFTER ALL, IT WAS A COWARDLY THING TO DO.] * * * * * THE TOURIST. Dear Chloe, how often my cravings To winter abroad I've suppressed, Well knowing my limited savings Would last but a fortnight at best; In vain have the posters adjured me To sojourn in Monte or Rome, In vain has Herr BAEDEKER lured me ... I have wintered at home. But now, half the "ads" I set eyes on Suggest--and I jump at the chance-- I should widen my mental horizon By touring through Belgium and France; They hint at abundance of shooting With guns that are Government made, Till the minor excitements of Tooting Are cast in the shade.